Cutness Comes At A Price
by Quid
Summary: Dots noticed that she's getting bigger. And it bothers her. Alot. And soon She finds herself spiraling down into an eating disorder. Note! Due to a recent realization this story is going to deviate a bit. Read the AN in chap 4.
1. When did this happen?

_**A.N**_

Alright, I didn't post for the longest time because Word on my computer broke, and it took about a month to fix. All that time I was working on Darkness Falls on my old Word Processor, so it was just a matter of copying and pasting. When I was done with that I started on this. (this happened yesterday) I'm going to wait till I finish this before going back to 'framed' (sorry folks). Anyhow.

Growing up on camera does things to you. And Dot is very concerned with her appearance. In short, it had to be done. P

**Enter: Dot**

"Alright, let's see how it went." Says the director. My brothers and I flop down on the spot. We've been going over the same lines for nearly three hours, but Mr. It-Has-To-Be-Freaking-Perfect is never satisfied. One by one we pick ourselves up and drag ourselves to a small TV situated in the corner of the room. The guy working the boom flips a switch and the screen comes to life. "Pretty good…pretty good…" Mumbles the director. A bubble of hope rises in my chest. I cross my fingers behind my back. _Please oh please oh please oh please...!_ "Yeah, I think this will do." He concludes.

"Finally!" Breathes Yakko. Wakko falls backwards in a mock faint. I watch the little screen. It's true what they say. You never get used to seeing yourself on camera. To me, I look completely different. The miniature me on the screen turns to the side and I wince.

Lately I have been noticing every little thing I do wrong when I watch myself act. I should have moved my head there, my skirt is a bit twisted, ect. But now I notice something else. I look a lot bigger than I used to on camera. I mean, so do Wakko and Yakko; deep down I know we're just growing. But I don't like it. I look so…big. I looked a lot cuter when I was smaller.

"Can we go now?" Snips Yakko as he picks Wakko up off the floor by the tail. I push myself to my feet.

"Yes, yes, yes…" The director waves us away. We're out the door in less than a second. Yakko stretches his back and looks around.

"So…anything in particular you guys want to do?"

Wakko frowns to himself.

"We already tormented Ralph twice today…we don't have anymore shooting…nope. Can't think of anything." His face brightened "Hey, lets rent all three X-men movies! We can have a marathon!"

"No way." I interject. Three hours of the same few lines has not put me in a very generous mood. "You guys know I hate those movies. They're so fake!"

"No one's asking _you_ to watch them." Points out Yakko. I'm starting to get seriously annoyed.

"Fine. I'll be in my room doing something worth while!" I spit. My brothers don't seem very moved by my anger and that makes me even more…well…angry. I march behind them to our tower in deep thought.

Now that I've noticed how much bigger I've gotten, its starting to drive me a little crazy. I remember a few months ago in the costume department. Yakko, Wakko and I were all given larger versions of our old costumes. I wonder how much bigger my new skirt is than my old skirt. I think back to the image of me on the screen. A lot bigger, I decide.

True to my word I head straight up to my room upon arrival at the tower so that the two morons can watch people on wires bashing people in cheap makeup. Once in my room I turn to my giant vanity mirror. If I stand on my bed and turn to face it, it turns into a full length mirror. Neat, eh? I gather up my courage and take a good look at my reflection. At first its kind of hard to see. I didn't get bigger over night. But after a minute or so I begin to see it. A bit a pudge around my waist, bigger arms…

The more I look, the worse I feel. I'm still cute, I'm sure of it; but I've defiantly gone down a few points in that area. My heart leaps into my chest as I realize I'm just not as cute as I used to be. I'm too big! My hands start to shake. What if I got even bigger?! I feel kind of sick and sit down on my bed. I'm a big huge giant blob. An _ugly_ big huge giant blob! I curl up in a ball and try to ignore the tears trickling down my cheeks.

I stay there for a long time. Until I hear Wakko and Yakko finish their movies, and until I hear them climb the stairs and go to their rooms for the night. Then I wait a bit. And bit more, until I'm sure they're asleep. Then I creep downstairs into the living room and dig around in the giant bin we keep the movies in. After searching as quietly as I can for a few minutes I find what I'm looking for. Its an old copy of the first five episodes we did. I turn on the TV and turn down the sound as low as it can go with me still being able to hear it and push the movie in.

I watch the first episode. Then the next. And the next, until I've watched all five. I looked so cute back then! I look down at my legs, crossed in front of me. The look disgusting. Huge and uncute. So do my hands. And everything else for that matter. I sniff back some tears. How could I let this happen?

I climb the stairs to my room on my elephant legs and crawl into bed. An hour later and I've succeeded in crying myself to sleep.


	2. The Way It Has To Be

_**A.N**_

Yeah, another one of these. Sorry. I suppose I should mention ages here. They may seem a bit old to be doing the show but this is my fanfic goddamnit! I can do what I want, its called suspension of belief. I think…just use your imaginations and blame it on them being toons or something. P

Dot: Around 11-12 or so.

Wakko: 14

Yakko:15-17

P.S the 'magazine' tradition is one me and my best friend have )

**Enter: Dot**

The smell of waffles tickles my nose and slowly draws me out of my sleep. I roll out of bed. Quite literally, and fall flat on my face.

"Owwww…." I moan as I sit up and rub my nose. Last night still weighs heavy on my mind. I walk down the stairs with caution; I really will die of embarrassment if my brothers find out.

"Dot! Down here!" Yakko smiles and waves me over to the table. Sure enough, Wakko has made a huge stack of waffles dripping with butter and syrup. A tremor runs through my entire body. I cant stand looking at them! They actually terrify me. Its like I can imagine them coming to life and leaping on me and attaching themselves to my stomach and legs. Covered in fat and sticky gooey butter and…and…

"I'm not hungry." I say. It rolls off my tongue so easily. Probably because I'm telling the truth for the most part; after that fantasy I had, I would rather slit my throat than put those things in my body. Wakko stuffs an entire waffle into his mouth. I can see a bit of butter and syrup ooze out.

"Your loss." He says around it. And he's right. It my fat loss.

I've decided that I'm not just going to sit and cry because I'm not as cute anymore. I'm no sniveling creampuff! By god I'm going to do something! I grin to myself.

"We don't have anything to do today, right?" I ask.

"Nope." Answers Yakko as he squirts even more syrup onto his waffles.

"Good!" I dive onto the couch and pounce on the phone. It takes me less than a second to punch in the number.

"_Hello?"_

"Babs! Watcha doing?"

"_Washing off stage makeup; I forgot to after shooting that commercial last night. Why?"_

"I thought we might do some shopping!"

"_Ooh! I don't know if I can though, I'm a little broke right now."_

"Hm…magazine shopping?"

"_I'm there! I'll meet you at the music store in an hour, ok?"_

"K. Bye!"

I dash upstairs to get ready, leaping on my bed and facing the mirror again. It really kills my eyes. We don't wear our stage costumes in real life (contrary to popular belief) so I've set about trying to think of what would make me look thinnest. Jeans? No. They hug my legs and make them look huge. Tank? No, same problem with the jeans. Skirt? Eh, its kinda windy out…

Half an hour later and the entire contents of my closet are strewn about the floor of my room, but I have an outfit! Yoga pants and an old concert tee that's loose on me and hides my fat. I twirl a bit on the bed to see myself from every angle. Not bad, not bad. Still big, and decidedly not as cute, but a lot better in these clothes. I jump off the bed and set to work on my hair.

**THUD THUD THUD**

"Dot?" Yakko's voice drifts over to me on the sound of him trying to kick my door down.

"What? I'm not def, you don't have to kick down the door!" I snap. Imbecile.

"You going to eat anything before you go?" He opens the door and pokes his head in. I turn back to my hair.  
"Nah, not hungry." I assure him. But I'm not telling the truth anymore. I am bit hungry. Not much, but a bit. Right now I would usually have a snack, but I'm not going to do that. I'm going to wait until I'm shopping with Babs. I can make it till then.

"You sure?" He drags out the word 'sure'. Pft. Like I'm really missing out by not eating those things.

"Yes I'm suuuuurrrreeee." I call back.

"Alright…" He closes the door not a moment too soon, because my stomach decides that it's the perfect time to let out a long low growl. I stiffen a bit, but I don't hear him coming back. Phew! I finish up my hair, grab a twenty and jog out the door.

Babs meets me at the music store just as planned.

"Hey Dot!" She smiles at me. She's wearing jeans and a tank. And, of course, _she _looks great in them.

"Hey Babs." I grin. Magazine shopping is one of our favorite traditions. It begins with us going to our favorite music store that sells our favorite magazines. We each buy three or so different magazines, then we head over to a random local outdoor restaurant and pool our magazines together, reading them as we eat. We laugh at some of the strange fashions, _ooh_ and _ah_ over the cute ones, read interesting articles out loud to each other and have a great time in general.

I rush through the magazine buying a bit. I'm actually really hungry now, and my stomach is practically singing an opera. I'm praying no one notices. Babs hasn't said anything, so maybe its not that noticeable. We pick a nice Asian place to eat at. As usual we each buy a bunch of stuff, then push everything to the center of the table and share it all. I crack open the first magazine as we wait for our food to arrive. I'm pretty immersed in an article about how some dog saved its owners life when our food arrives.

"_Man_ that smells good!" Babs shoves the magazines aside so the waiter can put the tray of food down. And oh god does it look good! There's noodles, spring rolls, salad, shrimp, fried chicken, sticky buns, and a few other things I really don't want to know the names of.

All self control lost, I reach for an egg roll, dip it into some duck sauce and take a bite. Its like crispy chewy spicy heaven!

"Mmmm…" I moan. I finish it and move onto the fried chicken. The next two hours were the best I've had in days. Spraying the table with squid as I laugh at something Babs reads out loud…licking my fingers of the soy sauce…heaven.

Unfortunately this heaven only lasts until I'm walking through the door of our tower. Then it hits me. Oh god…what have I done?! I can practically _FEEL_ the fat worming its way into every part of me. My skin starts to itch. Oh my god oh my god oh my god…

I dash up to my room. Sure enough, I seem fatter. Maybe I'm not _really_ fatter but I feel fatter. Less cute. Ugly even. I resist the strong urge to throw something at the mirror. How could I have let this happen? Tears start to slide down my face. Never again! I wont ever do that again! I've got to do something! I dash down the stairs.

"Where are you going? You just got back!" Asks Wakko from the couch.

"For a jog!" I yell over my shoulder before I close the door behind me. It's a nice day out, and I set off at an easy pace down the sidewalk. I figure two laps around the studio should do me just fine.

The first lap has me breathless and gasping. I know its because I'm carrying around so much excess weight. Against my better judgment I climb the ladder to the tower without finishing my other lap. Fatass.

"Hey what's with this, are you going to be a triathlete or something?" Calls Yakko from the couch. He's joined Wakko in watching TV.

"Its nice out! It would be a shame to waste a day like this!" I point to the window. "Which is exactly what you two are doing." I add. Wakko throws a half hearted glance towards the window.

"Big deal."

I roll my eyes and start to head up the stairs.

"Hey, any suggestions on dinner?" Asks Yakko. I pause, one foot in the air.

"I'm really not that hungry; I just pigged out on Chinese and went for a jog."

"Suit yourself. Wakko and I were thinking we'd order pizza."

Later in my room I lay in bed awake, thinking. I cant binge like that again. And my brothers can never find out. Not only would it be supper embarrassing, but they would surely make me stop. And I cant let that happen, I've _got_ to get cute again. If not for me, then for my fans. They rely on me to be SUPER cute! I cant let them down. And if I let myself become a big fat disgusting lard, I would surely loose my TV job. _I have to do this…_I tell myself. I fall asleep with a set face.


	3. Speculations

**Enter: Dot**

My alarm jerks me out of my sleep. I wake up feeling somewhat odd. My stomach is growling at me already, and I feel sort of annoyed. Why do I feel annoyed? Then I remember. Today we have filming. Its Monday. Bech! I shove myself out of bed, which takes a few minutes because I'm all tangled up in the covers. On days where we have early morning filming we don't even bother really getting ready; we're just going to have hair and makeup done once we get to the studio in an hour, so there really isn't a point. All I do is throw on some denim shorts and a tee shirt, not really caring which ones they are. I'm going to be in my pink skirt in less than an hour anyway. I decide to have a small breakfast this morning, as I walk down the stairs rubbing sleep out of my eyes. I read in a magazine about metabolisms yesterday, and eating something for breakfast is supposed to kickstart them.

I climb up onto the kitchen counter and root around for a granola bar, find one, rip open the rapper, and hop down. I'm always the first one up, so I flop down on the couch and turn on the TV, eating my breakfast and wait for my brothers to come down stairs. It doesn't take long. Yakko comes down first, a script dangling from his hand. He's the only one who looks over his scripts the day before shooting because he has more lines than Wakko and me.

"Morning!" I pipe, and I'm rewarded with an 'urgh'. I'm the only morning person around here. Wakko comes down a few minutes later even less awake than Yakko. He stumbles down the stairs and over to the fridge, pulling things out and inserting them into his mouth at random. I snort as he gives an ice pack a few chomps before realizing it isn't edible. Yakko rubs his face and gets to work heating up left over waffles in the microwave.

"You already eaten, Dot?" He asks.

"Yeah. You guys take forever to come down, you know that?" I answer. I slip the granola bar wrapper into my pocket.

Yakko and Wakko still aren't fully awake by the time we reach the studio. I, however, am bright eyed and buggy tailed. Literally. You think bedhead is a pain? Try bedfur. We split up upon reaching the costume/makeup department, Yakko and Wakko going into one room and me going into another. There I meet up with Suzie, the chick that does my hair, makeup, and is in charge of my costumes.

"Mornin hun." She tosses her chestnut brown hair over her shoulder and jerks her thumb over to a chair that leans backwards over a sink. I know the drill. I climb into the chair and lean back.

"Argh, I had the worst night. My alarm's been acting up lately, and it kept waking me up every hour!" She chuckles as she turns on the faucet and wets down my hair. "I didn't want to shut it off, because then I knew I wouldn't wake up in time." She squirts some flower-smelling shampoo on my head.

"So did you manage to sleep at all?" I ask.

"Not much." She lathers it up, digging her nails into my scalp as she does. Suzie is pretty awesome, she's like a cool aunt or something. But _good lord_ she has sharp nails! I stifle a sigh of relief as she rinses out the shampoo and moves onto the conditioner.

"So how was your night? Sleep well?"

"Yeah, wish I could have slept more though. I hate early morning shoots."

"You and I both, girl. I have to be here before you!" She rinses out the conditioner and towels off my hair. Then I hop up and move to a different chair. This is the one I get hair and makeup done at. It sits before a huge counter and mirror. Suzie sets to work on my hair while I think. After deciding she probably wont think too much of the question, I speak up.

"Hey Suzie, how much bigger is my new pink skirt than my old one?" She purses her lips in thought.

"I couldn't tell you unless I took a look at the sizes. God you and your brothers are getting big. I remember when you three were just little itty bitty things, and you barely came up to my knee! Now your to my waist…lord, next thing I know you'll be begging to borrow my clothes!" She laughs to herself. "Well, you can't!" she winks at me in the mirror, I laugh in spite of myself. She _does_ have really cute clothes…Hair done she moves onto my fur. Being fluffy has certain disadvantages. I strip down to my undies and she sprays me down with this vile smelling stuff. It keeps my fur from getting all messed up, and keeps it sleek and matte. Our fur doesn't shine much, but even a little bit shows up on camera and looks weird. Suzie hands me one brush and picks up another herself. Together we get me all brushed out. Then, its back into the chair for makeup. At this point I cant really talk to her because I cant move my face or else I'll mess her up.

While she does my makeup, I start planning out today's food. I had a granola bar for breakfast, and that was 140 calories. We stay at the studio for lunch, and they have all sorts of stuff to eat here. I know they've got some yogurt, so I'll just have one of those. I also know those are only 90 calories because it says right there in big friendly letters on the package. Dinner…I don't know what I'm going to do with dinner. Yakko, Wakko and I always eat together and surely they would notice if I wasn't eating anything. Maybe if I just _pretend_ to eat…I could just cut up my food into little itty bitty bits…yeah…I think that would work.

"All done babe." Suzie steps back and admires her handywork. I look in the mirror, and a cute groomed face stares back at me. For a moment. Then I can see the cute groomed face's cheeks are a bit too pudgy, but other than that, she's ok. I hop down and trot out the door.   
"See ya Suzie!" I call. And I will. She touches up my makeup between each shot.

Wakko and Yakko meet me on set, in costume and finally looking awake. We each look over our lines while everyone sets up. All three of us burst out into laughter as we read one of Yakko's 'goodnight everybody' lines. I love our show, we get away with everything! Another hour later, and we're standing on our starting positions on our set; a classroom this time.

"Aaaand…action!" Yells the director. We spring into action.

"Aaaand…cut!" Three hours later those blessed words ram their way into our ears. My brothers and I head over to 'the lounge'. The lounge is a place set up in just about every shooting studio. It usually consists of a few mini frigs, a table with some food and two liters of soda and water speak out on it, blankets spread out on the floor and some random people strewn about. I grab a yogurt as planned and flop down on the floor, leaning against a set of speakers. Wakko grabs a burrito while Yakko snags a sandwich.

"Is that all you're having?" Asks Wakko looking at the yogurt in my hands. I nod.

"I'm not all that hungry. I didn't sleep very well last night, maybe that's why." I twirl to spoon in the yogurt a bit and bring it up to my mouth. _Mmm… vanilla…_Wakko shrugs and stuffs half the burrito into his mouth, most of the stuff inside of it coming out the back and dropping onto the paper plate in his lap. Yakko frowns at me for a few seconds, and I feel my heart rate speed up. Thankfully he turns away and bites into his sandwich. I keep stirring the yogurt around for a few seconds before bringing it up to my mouth, and by doing this I manage to make it last as long as my brothers burrito and sandwich. When we're done we head over to our makeup/hair/costume people to get ready for the next shoot. The next shoot lasts for a full four hours. Finally we're allowed to go home.

"YAKKO!!!" I screech as I pounce on my oldest brother from behind. I was thinking I could scare him out of his skin, or at least startle him but _noooooo…_

"Hey Dot." He doesn't even slow down, but instead keeps going at the same pace with me dangling off his back. Figures. Wakkos a lot easier to scare.

"What are we having for dinner?" I ask. I don't drop down off his back. Free ride to the tower! W00t!

"I dunno." He hooks his arms under my legs and continues to give me a piggy back ride "I was thinking we would have some leftover pizza. Why? Did you want something in particular?"

"You'd better not, that pizza was good!" Says an enthusiastic Wakko. "Its got sausage, and pepperoni, and cheese, and olives, and mushrooms…" He starts to drool. I shoot my leg out and kick him in the side.

"You pig!"

He snorts and continues listing the ingredients, his eyes growing larger and more misty as he goes. He actually looks like a rabid wolf by the time we get home.

Once inside Wakko dashes over to the frig, pulls out the remnants of the pizza and shoves it in the oven to heat it up. I hop up on the counter and grab three plates while Yakko pulls out three cans of soda. In no time we're at the table and I've got a huge greasy slice of 'everything on it and extra cheese!' in front of me. I take a deep breath and grab my fork. I cut of a tiny bite and blow on it for a few minutes before sticking it in my mouth.

_Oh…my…god…_I take another bite. And another. Over the course of dinner time one and a half pieces of pizza disappear into my mouth. When we're done I feel terrible. Yakko and Wakko dive bomb onto the couch and commence fighting over the remote. I squirm a bit. I feel kind of sick. I hate myself, how could I let myself do that again!? Turning tail, I jog up the stairs. I feels so disgusting that I actually feel like I need to scrub myself. Once I'm safely in the bathroom I turn on the shower and it really hits me. I choke back sobs. I cant believe it. I cant believe what I did!!! _This _is precisely why I'm so fat. _This _is why I'm not cute. One and a half pieces of pizza, how could I let myself do that?! That disgusting greasy pizza! I look down at my stomach. My fat disgusting stomach. I can practically see the pizza attaching itself to my insides and living there, like a parasite. I want it out! But I cant, because Dot the moron put it here. Too late now. I turn around to get in the shower when the toilet catches my eye. Or is it…?

Uncertainly I walk over to the toilet and lift the lid. Then, before I can over think it, I ram my fingers down my throat as far as I can get them. My brothers and I were all blessed with healthy gag reflexes, and I've never been more thankful for them. My insides throw everything into reverse and the toilet is suddenly filled with the soupy mess. I stiffen and listen, but it seems like the sound of the still-running shower has masked the sound. I don't hear any footsteps on the stairs. I relax, and do it again and again and again, bringing stuff up each time until finally I shove my fingers down my throat and only dry heave. I wipe my mouth and flush down the pizza. Despite having spent the past five minutes throwing up, I feel so much better. Hungry, but better. Its out! I smile and hop in the shower. It takes everything I have not to jump for joy. I run into Yakko as I exit the bathroom.

"Finally, took you long enough!" He moans. I brush a strand of wet hair out of my face and let it drip onto my already damp fluffy pink robe.

"Maybe that's because I actually like to get _clean_ when I shower, ever think of that? Hmmm?" I shoot back. Yakko rolls his eyes and walks into the bathroom. He pauses in the doorway.

"Clean? This place smells gross! You must have been _filthy!_ What have I told you about rolling around in the garbage?"

I squeeze some water out of my hair and fling it at him.

"Maybe you just don't know what good shampoo and conditioner smell like!" I'm careful to make it sound calm, but inside I'm having a minor freak out. I thought the shampoo and conditioner I used would mask the puke smell! I continue on down the hall. Maybe its just my imagination, but I swear I can feel his eyes on my back. Its as if my happiness was flushed down the tubes along with my pizza. I cant let Yakko or Wakko figure this out. No way! If they do, I'm done for!

Thankfully I feel better as I lay down in bed. I did good today, and I'll keep doing good. I feel cuter already.

**Enter: Yakko**

The computer screen casts an unearthly glow in the darkness, and it almost hurts my eyes as they follow the words on the screen:

_**Anorexia Nervosa**__  
This is the one we hear the most about. The one we think of when we see extremely thin models, dancers and the like. When people think "eating disorder" this is what they tend to think of. However, most people with eating disorders are not actually anorexic - statistically, it's the rarest eating disorder. Here's the DSM-IV criteria for anorexia nervosa:_

1. Refusal to maintain body weight at or above a minimally normal weight for age and height (eg, weight loss leading to maintenance of body weight less than 85 of that expected or failure to make expected weight gain during period of growth, leading to body weight less than 85 of that expected).  
2. Intense fear of gaining weight or becoming fat, even though underweight.  
3. Disturbance in the way in which one's body weight or shape is experienced, undue influence of body weight or shape on self-evaluation, or denial of the seriousness of the current low body weight.

There are two subtypes:

Restricting Type: During the current episode of anorexia nervosa, the person has not regularly engaged in binge-eating or purging behavior (ie, self-induced vomiting or the misuse of laxatives, diuretics, or enemas).  
Binge-Eating/Purging Type: During the current episode of anorexia nervosa, the person has regularly engaged in binge-eating or purging behavior (ie, self-induced vomiting or the misuse of laxatives, diuretics, or enemas).

In regular, normal-person English, this means that basically the person has refused to eat enough to reach or maintain a healthy body weight, and as a consequence is severely underweight and has lost her period. You can see that it's quite rare to meet the criteria for anorexia nervosa. The term "anorexic" is thrown around a lot, and I'd really like for it to be replaced with "eating disordered." But hey, if you're reading this, I'm already highly impressed.

Negative but lesser-known effects of anorexia nervosa can include difficulty concentrating, bad memory, aching muscles, the growth of "fur" (lanugo) all over the body, hair loss on the head, difficulty sleeping, increased susceptibility to illness (weakened immune system), and pale and dry skin

_Emotions & Thoughts_

feel very guilty and shameful about eating  
believe you are fat when you are not  
wish you were thinner  
have black and white thinking about food. ie good food & bad food  
have low self esteem  
have a need for perfection  
have periods of depression  
become very irritable and argumentative - especially around food and meal times  
feel very ineffective  
think in extremes - if I'm not thin, I'll be grossly obese  
feel very embarrassed about your behavior  
feel very anxious around food  
feel unhappy with your current size or shape of body  
deny or minimize the seriousness of the behavior  
feel hopeless and out of control

I sit back in my chair and think. I've only noticed Dots been acting weird the past couple of days…she's always been tiny, but I don't thinks she's underweight, though right now it does seem like she's scared of getting fat. I think back to that jog she took. She was gone for nearly half an hour. As for the lanugo, there's no way for me to tell; we're covered in fur anyway. She _did_ say she didn't sleep very well…and I know Dot can be a perfectionist…and she does tend to think in extremes…

I shake my head. What am I thinking? I X out of the internet page and start shutting down my laptop. I force some sense into myself. Dot doesn't have an eating disorder, I'm just overreacting. I grin. I _do_ tend to do that. As for the pizza-puke smell in the bathroom…that was probably just my imagination. I mean, come on.This is _Dot_ we're talking about. Good lord, we tell her she's cute enough, there's no reason for to develop an eating disorder.

I shut my laptop and crawl into bed.


	4. A new way to let go

_**A.N**_

**WOAH!!!** Ok, so I finish this chapter and I'm looking through the stories on the front page. I haven't ready hardly any of them, so I pick one at random. Its **Who's the cutest dot? ** Heh, and I thought I had an original idea…! Good lord they even binged and purged on the same thing! Apologies to frecleface, really didn't mean for that to happen! So this story might deviate a bit from its original plan.

**Enter: Dot**

I wake up slowly. I love it when I get to sleep in. Sunlight warms my face and I let my eyes flutter opens slowly so I don't blind myself. We still have shooting today, but not till this afternoon, so we got to sleep in. Unlike the morning when we have to get up early, I'm usually the last one to get up and Wakko is the first one to get up. Lately, in the past few months, he's taken up a new hobby. Cooking. Sure enough I can smell food downstairs. It smells pretty good, and I decide to have a small breakfast. I stretch and go downstairs. Wakko really outdid himself this morning. He's got bacon, toast, eggs, and hash browns on the table.

"Wow…nice work Wakko!" I breathe as I take it in. I'm not entirely sure what to eat. The hash browns and bacon are out of the question, but the eggs…I don't know. They might have been cooked in the bacon dripping. I reach for a piece of toast. Its got tons of butter and heaps of sugary jelly on it. I nibble on the crust and – _oh god, he's watching me!!!_

Out of the corner of my eye I can see Yakko watching me, there's no mistaking it! I've got freakishly good peripheral vision, and he doesn't know I can see him. He continues watching me. I have a feeling why, and it makes me sick to my stomach. Gathering up my courage I take a big bite of the toast. I chew and chew and chew but he doesn't look away and I know he's waiting for me to swallow. Right now all I want to do is spit the stuff out, but what choice do I have? I swallow. He looks at me for a few more seconds before turning back to his own breakfast. I put the rest of the toast down. I'm honestly not hungry anymore; I've got butterflies in my stomach. Does Yakko really suspect something? He cant, I've been so good at hiding this! I decide to ignore it.

"What's wrong Dot, not good?" Wakko looks at me over his plate. Easier said than done; is plate is piled half a foot high.

"No, its fine. I just bit the inside of my mouth." I assure him. He gives me a glare to sour milk.

"If you don't like it just say so, you don't have to lie."

"I'm not lying! You're being too sensitive, just because I don't eat it doesn't mean I think you're a bad cook, Wakko."

"I'm not being too sensitive!"

"Oh, shush!" Yakko rolls his eyes. "Wakko, the food's good. Dot, finish the toast." Pft! He thinks he's such a good moderator…

"_You_ can make breakfast tomorrow morning!" Spits Wakko.

"_Fine!_" I spit back, getting up from the table and tossing the rest of the toast in the trash. I march up to my room, secretly glad I got out of eating anything else. I hear Yakko and Wakko talking downstairs. They can talk all they want, I don't care. I dig around in my closet and find my yoga pants and tee shirt. Throwing them on the bed, I doff my sleeper and jump up on the bed myself. Maybe its just my imagination, but I do look a little thinner…I put on my clothes, hop down, and wait for a bit before I have to go downstairs to leave for the studio.

Yakko and Wakko meet me by the door. Wakko doesn't really seem mad at me anymore, which I suppose is for the best….

"Ready Dot?" Asks Yakko. We're on set and in our costumes. We're doing a western type thing. Yakko's got a sheriffs badge pinned to his chest, Wakkos got a bandana around his mouth and I've got a leather vest on. We've all got cowboy hats. We take our places and…

"ACTION!" Yells the director. Yakko jumps out of a boxcar.

"Geeze, this place is a dump!" He says, looking around at the ghost town. An old prospector comes to meet him. "Well..it didn't use to be…" He says in a shaky voice. Yakkos face brightens up.

"GRANDPA!!!" He yells throwing himself on the old man. That's Wakkos cue.

"Grandpa, is it really you?!" He leaps out of the boxcar and wraps himself around the mans leg.

"W-wha…? I not your grandpa!" Protests the old man. That's my cue. I leap out of the boxcar and-

-and my skirt falls down around my ankles when I hit the ground. Both Yakko and Wakko burst out in uncontrollable laughter while the old man turns red in the face and spins around to face the other way. I make an odd noise somewhere between as gasp and a squawk as I pull my skirt back up, blushing bright enough to put the sun to shame. _God how embarrassing! _

"Cut! Suzie!" Yells the director. I dash over to Suzie who's walking to me with a sewing kit in her hand. She grabs my arm and leads me over to the lounge where she has me stand on top of the table.

"Dropping your skirt in front of an old actor? What are you, some kind of gold digger?" She laughs.

"Oh, shut up…" I growl. My brothers have stopped laughing and are reenacting the scene, taking turns being me. My face grows even redder. "Yipe!" I squeal as Suzie sticks me with a pin.

"Sorry hun…I'm just pinning this in place…you'll have to come back later for me to actually have it taken in a bit…" Said Suzie around the pins in her mouth. In truth, I shouldn't be _that_ unhappy. This means its not my imagination, I've lost weight! I really have! But how much?

"How much are you going to have to take in, Suzie?" I ask. She removes the last pin from her mouth and inserts it into my skirt before she answers.

"Oh, about an inch I'd say. You're probably just getting taller." I smile inwardly. If only she knew…

The rest of the day went great. Loosing an inch off my waist put me in the greatest mood, and not even the teasing I got from my brothers could spoil it! However the good mood burst when I got ready for bed. As usual, lately, I jump up on my bed and look in the mirror. I guess I was so happy with myself for loosing the inch, I've forgotten just how fat and ugly I still am. Looking in the mirror reminded me. All of a sudden I was furious with myself and my body. I can't stand it! My skin itches. I'm just uncute. And I don't think I will ever be cute again. Why?! My fists shake with rage. I'm ugly. I look down at my legs, at the fat hanging off them. Its disgusting, I don't even know how people can stand looking at me anymore. I hate it! I want it off! I hate that fat, I hate it! I jump off my bed and walk closer to the vanity. My hands grip its sides in a death grip. My reflections stares back at me. I cant stand it! In a blind furry and look down at the disgusting fat on my legs, grab the nail file from the top of the vanity and give my leg a good slice. As pain radiates from the wound, I feel my anger dissipate. As if my body doesn't have enough room for both the pain and the anger. I breathe heavily as I watch a small trail of dark red blood begin to trickle down from the cut. I clean it up with some tissues, dabbing at it until it stops bleeding. I go to bed. I feel a lot better.


	5. Crap chapter :next one will be better!

**Enter: Yakko**

I'd been looking forward to sleeping in since yesterday. I'd been looking forward to waking up slowly and letting my mind wander for a bit. I'd been looking forward to stretching and laying in bed a bit before getting up. I'd been looking forward to having a nice breakfast before shooting that western scene. I'd been looking forward to laying in my nice warm sheets and dozing.

My bladder had other ideas. Not without muttering a few oaths I crawl out of bed and stumble up the hall to the bathroom, then downstairs to the kitchen. Wakko's already got stuff cooking.

"Hey Yakko!" He says brightly, though not looking at me. He's cracking several eggs into the frying pan used to cook the bacon. I grunt in response and steal a piece of bacon. I could go back to bed now…I'd get an extra half hour of sleep…I take another bite of bacon. Wakko's getting good…

There's the sound of footsteps on the stairs and Dot comes into view. She flops down on the table that Wakko's set up with breakfast.

"Wow…nice work Wakko!" She breathes. I suddenly remember last nights internet search. I watch as she looks at the food for a few moments, then decides on a piece of buttered and jellied toast. She nibbles on the crust. Dot has freakishly good peripheral vision, and I turn ever so slightly so that I know she can see me watching her. Sure enough she jumps a bit, almost imperceptibly. I pretend I don't know she can see me. I stare at her for a few moments before she takes a huge bit of toast. I have to keep staring at her until I see her swallow. She puts the rest of the toast down. My suspicions are confirmed.

"What's wrong Dot, not good?" _Uh oh…_Wakko tends to be a little sensitive about his cooking…

"No, its fine. I just bit the inside of my mouth." _Well,_ _it would make sense…_I think to myself. Maybe this whole thing is a self fulfilling prophecy. I speculate that Dot has an eating disorder, therefore I see her having an eating disorder…

"If you don't like it just say so, you don't have to lie." Growls Wakko.

"I'm not lying! You're just being too sensitive, just because I don't eat it doesn't mean I think you're a bad cook, Wakko." Dot shoots back.

"I'm not being too sensitive!" Wakko practically screams. _Urgh…it's too early for this…_

"Oh, shush!" I roll my eyes. "Wakko, the food's good. Dot, finish the toast." _Heh, I'm a great moderator. _

"_You_ can make breakfast tomorrow morning!" Yells Wakko.

"_Fine!"_ hisses Dot. She tosses the rest of the toast in the trash and stomps upstairs. _Pft…so much for moderator…_

"Wakko?" I venture. He's still seething and grinding his hash browns to a past in his mouth. "Have you noticed Dot's been acting a little…different, lately?" He swallows.

"No, why?" _Well…he isn't the most observant of guys…_

"Ah…no reason." I conclude. Forget it. I'm just being stupid.

**Enter: Dot**

"WHAT?!" Screams Yakko into the telephone receiver. Wakko and I nearly leap out of our skins; both of us are seated on the couch. I wonder if it had something to do with the western shoot yesterday. Maybe they want us to redo it. Wakko gives me a 'what do you think it is?' look. I shrug and we turn around to watch Yakko. I can vaguely hear voices on the other line. "I can't…" Protests Yakko. "Not it a week!...no…no…I don't care…fine." He hangs up the phone and glares off into space. I turn to Wakko. A brief game of rock paper scissors ensues, with me loosing.

"What's the matter Yakko?" I ask. He grabs a bag of popcorn out of the cabinet and throws it into the microwave. "Its Plotz." He says as he punches in the number. "Do you remember that 'every nation in the world' song they made me do?" Wakko and I nod. It had taken him a month of constant rehearsing to memorize it and get it right. The popcorn begins to pop. "Well, _now_ they've got a new project for me!" His voice rises in volume. The popcorn finishes popping, but Yakko ignores it. "_Now_ they want me to do 'every word in English language'!" The popcorn starts to burn.

"Yakko?" I interrupt. He doesn't even hear me.

"Do they even remember how long it-" the popcorn continues to burn

"Yakko!"

"-took me to-"

"Yakko!" This time from Wakko

"-memorize all-"

"YAKKO!!!" Wakko and I both scream. That finally snaps him out of it.

"What?" He asks, somewhat confused. Wakko points to the microwave. Yakkos eyes widen. He pounces on the microwave door and rips it open. A black cloud of noxious toxic burnt popcorn smoke engulfs the entire kitchen leaving all three of us coughing and gagging.

"Speeeeeeeeewwwwwww!" I scream and cover my face with a couch cushion.

"Heheh…sorry…" Says a mighty embarrassed Yakko as he waves at the smoke in front of his face.

"Great, that was our last bag of popcorn!" Moans Wakko.

"Well forgive me if I burnt it a little while the biggest load of work I've ever had was placed on my shoulders." Snips Yakko. "And besides, you _could_ still eat it if you wanted to. Its not poisonous." He adds. Wakko grins.

"I bet I could eat more than you could."

I can see what's going to happen next before it even happens. The age old brother rivalry. The age old burnt popcorn dare preformed in every house in America. The age old saying: boys will be boys. Yakko and Wakko sit down at the table and divide the burn popcorn between them, each getting exactly half.

"On you mark…" Starts Yakko "get set…GO!" They each begin stuffing their faces with the black crispy popcorn. Unfortunately for Yakko, Wakko really does have the stronger stomach. Wakko finishes his half in less than a second. Yakko, seeing that he was beat, made a mad dash to the frig, pulled out the first thing he got his hands on, and began to chug. Wakko and I look at each other.

"Uh…Yakko?" ventures Wakko. Yakko stops drinking, wipes his mouth and looks over at his brother. "Yeah what is…" He doesn't get it all out. He follows our gaze to his hand. The once full gallon of milk is now nearly empty. Yakkos eyes fallow his arm to his chest, then down to his stomach where they stop.

"Oh no…"

Oh no indeed. Yakkos lactose intolerance was well known for being one of the worst in the studio lot. Unfortunately there really wasn't anything they could do for him. The 'every word in the English language' project was called off because of it, but wasn't dropped completely. Instead, it became 'the states and their capitals' and was turned over to Wakko. I know because immediately after Yakko realized what he had done I called Plotz.

After informing my brothers of the new plans I watch Yakko lay down on the couch and prepare for the battle ahead of him. And what a battle it is. Fifteen minutes later he's nearly screaming in pain as cramps rib through his gut made all the worse by a bad case of the runs.

It lasts all day, night and well into next morning. I know how awful it must be for Yakko, but some teeny tinny black part of my heart is glad. With all attention on Yakko, no one's noticed I haven't eaten _anything_ since toast the morning of the western shoot.


	6. Not sick, CUTE!

_**A.N**_

Alright, question answerin time! This takes place in no particular time, and the 'western' thing is of my own creation. I was too lazy to put an actual episode : P I gave them separate room so Dot can better hide her disorder, yes, though now that I think about it, keeping them in the same room would have opened up a world of possibilities…

**Enter: Dot**

It's comforting. The warmth of the blood. It's as warm as bath water, or your bed on a Saturday morning. I listen to it _pat pat pat_ against the tile of the bathroom floor. This, I decide, is heaven. Yakko and Wakko are both gone, which eliminates any chance of them catching me. I've just thrown up everything I've eaten today, which wasn't much to begin with. Then I got angry…I kind of forget why…I remember grabbing a pair of scissors…not much after that.

The cut is in the palm of my hand, and its bleeding a lot. I hold my hand upside down and watch the slow but steady drip. What made me do it again? I stand up and wash off my hand in the sink, then lean my head down and sip at the water. The coldness of it gets my brain moving again. I splash some water on my face and close my eyes.

Early that afternoon Yakko had gotten the milk out of his system and was feeling a lot better. He and Wakko had decided to go out for pizza to celebrate but I 'wasn't feeling well' and opted to stay behind….

_"Dot, are you coming with us?" Asks Wakko as he grabs a hoodie from the floor near the couch. He puts it on and zips it up. _

_"Nah…I don't feel very well." _

_"Fine. Yakko, hurry up!" He yells up the stairs. _

_"Yeah, yeah I'm coming!" Yakko bounds down the stairs and follows Wakko out the door. "Bye Dot!" He throws over his shoulder. I'm left alone, standing in the middle of the living room. I just had a few crackers, so I'm not hungry. I take one step and, just as my skirt had done in the studio two days ago, my pants fall down around my ankles. Thankfully I'm the only one to witness it this time. I pull them up and smile to myself. Then I burst into tears. I'm getting thinner, I know I am! My pants and my skirt wouldn't be falling down if I wasn't! I throw myself down on the couch and continue sobbing. Wakko and Yakko haven't even noticed!!! My own two brothers haven't even noticed how much cuter I've gotten! _

_I charge up the stairs and into the bathroom. My head is in the toilet and my finger is down my throat a split second later. Fine. I'll MAKE them notice! I think to myself. I'll get so skinny and cute that they wont be able NOT to notice! _

_I finish throwing up and sit back on my haunches. I don't feel that much better. In fact, I'm still crying. _

_"How could they not notice…" I whisper to myself. Anger starts to bubble up inside me. Do they even care?! _

_I grab the scissors. _

I open my eyes. It's a rather gruesome sight. The toilet is still filled with thrown up crackers and the floor is spattered with blood. I sigh and get to work cleaning up. It still hurts that Wakko and Yakko haven't noticed my weight loss, but I feel better. But, I tell myself, I could use this as an incentive. I'll get so skinny and cute they can't help but notice.

Down stairs in the kitchen I bandage up my hand, plan to blame it on an apple slicing accident, and call Babs.

"_Hey Dot. What's up?"_

"Oh, nothing. You?"

_"Same."_

"Want to come over and watch stupid chick flicks, musicals and cry our eyes out?"

_"You bet!"_

"See you in five."

I hang up the phone and begin to root through the bin where we keep the movies and start pulling out our favorites. Babs arrives just as I pull out the last one.

"Hey!" I jump up to face her. She smiles, then frowns at me.

"Dot, are you feeling ok?" She asks. I trot past her and put in the first movie.

"Yeah, why?"

"You don't look so good. I thought Yakko was the one who was sick." I spin around to face her.

"He was. What do you mean I don't look so good?" Has she noticed how much bigger I've gotten? I suppose it must be so. I mean, we've known each other practically our whole lives and the only time I notice Babs has gotten any bigger is when I see a picture of her from a few years ago. I brace myself for those awful words.

"I dunno…you just look kind of sick. Your eyes are a little sunken in, and your collar bones are sticking out. A lot." She walks over and pokes my sides. "So are your ribs. What happened to your hand?" I nearly melt with happiness and relief. But I can't let Babs see.

"Oh, I cut it wile I was cutting some apples for a snack." I say coolly as I press play on the DVD remote. In reality, I feel like singing with happiness. CUTENESS HERE I COME!!! As 'Mean Girls' starts playing Babs makes a dash to the kitchen and grabs a box of candy. She leaps over the top of the couch and lands beside me.

"Want some?" She offers it to me, but I shake my head. I'm doing so well, no _way_ am I going to eat those!

"Nah, I just had an apple, remember?" I brandish my bandaged hand.

Wakko and Yakko come back just as 'The Princess Bride' ends.

"Hey Babs." Calls Yakko. My brothers are used to seeing Babs at the tower. Wakko leans over the back of the couch.

"We got some leftover pizza in a doggie bag if you want any. Can we watch I Robot next?" I shove him away.

"No way! Up next is Bend it Like Bekham! Not sure how to spell his name. Deal with it"

"What happened to your hand, Dot?" Asks Wakko, movies forgotten. Yakko looks up from the frig where he's putting away the leftover pizza. I sigh.

"I cut it while I was cutting up some apples, now will you pipe down, I want to see the beginning of this!" Yakko walks over to me.

"Uh, Dot? We don't _have_ any apples." _Oops…_All eyes are on me now. I swallow hard and try not to let anyone know that I'm silently panicking.

"I went over to the grocery store and got some. I was really craving them." For a moment, I don't think they're going to buy it, but then…

"You couldn't have picked up some more popcorn while you were there?" Grumbles Wakko. Success! I stick my tongue out at him. Yakko rolls his eyes, grabs me by the arm and leads me over to the kitchen table. Wakko follows us into the kitchen and begins to make cookies. He's terrible about staying up late cooking.

"Hey!" I protest. Yakko starts to undo the bandage. I pull out a chair and plop down. As the oldest, whenever we get hurt Yakko takes it upon himself to play doctor. He finishes unraveling the gauze.

"Jeeze Dot, you really sliced it…" He murmurs, turning my hand over in his. I notice how small mine looks in comparison. "I'm not entirely sure you don't need stitches…" He continues. I resist the urge to yank my hand away. I'd better not! The idea of someone _sewing up skin_…I feel kind of sick.

"Nice going Dot!" Calls Babs from the couch. She's turned over and is watching us over the back of it. I make a face at her. She's the only one in the world, besides my brothers, that knows I'm scared to death of having stitches.

"Come on, its not bad enough for stitches!" I whine, turning back to Yakko. Yakko sighs and pulls out the first aid kit we bought for the kitchen when Wakko started cooking. My hand newly, and though it pains me to say it, a lot more neatly bandaged, Babs and I continue our movie marathon. When its over we set a date for another one, and she packs up to leave.

"You're _sure_ your feeling ok?" She asks before going out the door.

"Yes, I'm _sure_ I'm feeling ok." And I am. A little weak, but ok. She shrugs, wraps me in a hug and head out.

"What's with that?" Asks Wakko as he starts IRobot.

"Nothing. Babs said I looked a little sick is all." I go into the kitchen. All that talk of apples has made me really hungry, and not having eaten in days, I cant ignore the hunger pains anymore. I begin to make myself a sandwich.

"Eh, now that I take a look at you, you do look kind of sick." Yakko pokes me in the back. The poke actually kind of hurts, because the bones in my back are becoming more prominent. _Not sick, cute! _I mentally correct him. Sandwich made and eaten, I get ready to go to bed. But before I leave the kitchen, Wakko calls me back.

"Dot, come here and try this real quick!" I turn around to see that he's pulled the first batch of cookies out of the oven. Chocolaty and peanut buttery and gooey.

"Uh…no thanks."

"Come on, I need a second opinion!" He protests.

"Get Yakko to eat one." I counter. He frowns at me.

"What's your problem Dot? For gods sake all I'm asking you to do is try one of these, not run a marathon!"

"Uh, I think Babs was right. I don't feel very well."

"You felt good enough to eat that sandwich!"

I can feel it. I'm trapped and I know it. My heart starts to pound and fear works its way into every part of my body. They cant find out! But I cant eat one of those things, I just cant! Looking at them, I realize they actually scare me. I don't want to be in the same room with them.

"No!" I shout, turn on my heel, and flee to the sanctuary of my room. I hear Yakko calling me, but I ignore him. From my room I can hear Yakko and Wakko arguing, then I hear them get ready for bed, and then I don't hear anything at all because I'm in bed myself.

**A!**

The next morning we have shooting, this time for a commercial. Wakko has prepared omelets for breakfast. I request mine without cheese. Wakko looks at me funny.

"Without cheese it's pretty much just egg. You sure? I thought you liked cheese." I notice Yakko is paying particularly close attention to our conversation; I choose my words carefully.

"I do normally. Just not on omelets, with cheese on there it looks like runny uncooked egg yolk and all I can think of is that time where Yakko drank that entire cup of raw eggs." I watch as Yakko nods and turns away. After seeing several guys on TV do it, he decided to try it himself. He had said it really hadn't been that bad, but it had defiantly grossed me out. I get my cheese-less omelet no questions asked. I only eat half.

As usual, I go off into my own hair/makeup/costume department upon arrival at the set we're shooting at.

"Morning Dot!" Suzie greets me. I smile and hop up in the hair-washing chair, but she shakes her head.

"Not yet, I need to take in your skirt first. Come over here where the costumes are. God, all that talk of getting bigger and now you're shrinking on me girl!" I laugh and climb up on the little pedestal in the center of organized chaos, consisting of a number of random articles of clothing.

"I've made the one inch mark already, I've just got to sew it…" She mumbles as she grabs my skirt from the rack and signals for me to strip. I do so and she helps me into the skirt, raises it to my waist, then frowns. She cinches it up tighter.

"I'm going to go ahead and take it in another two inches." She begins to sew. I smile to myself. "Dot…are you getting enough sleep?" Asks Suzie. I nod. "Have you been eating enough? Three inches is an awful lot to loose, especially when you were already so small." I resist the urge to roll my eyes. _Small? Hardly…_ "I'm going to go out on a limb here and say you're even looking a little too thin." She says at last. If I had been drinking something I would have surely spat it out.

"What? What do you mean?" I ask, bewildered. If anything I look too big! Suzie stops adjusting my skirt and stands to face me. Without her holding it up, and without the necessary stitching made yet, my skirt falls to the floor.

"You're ribs are poking out, and lord, so are the bones in your hips. Dot is there something you want to tell me?"

It takes everything I've got not to run out of the room in a blind panic.

"Like…what?" I say as cluelessley as possible. Suzie cocks an eyebrow.

"Like maybe you haven't been eating as much as you know you should." My hands are shaking now.

"No, I've been eating fine." I assure her. She shakes her head and goes back to fixing my skirt. Before she pulls it back around my waist I notice that my hip bones _do_ stick out. I kind of like the way it looks.

"As long as you're sure…." She doesn't sound convinced.


	7. She's Fine!

**Enter: Yakko**

"Yakko hun? Will you come here for a sec?" I look up from the book I'm reading to find the chick that does Dots hair and makeup waving at me. I push myself off the ground and walk over to her. I had been resting with my sibs in the lounge.

_Suzie, that's her name!_ I remember as I draw nearer to her. She's a tall curvy woman from Texas, with smooth auburn hair and bleached white teeth. I wonder why the hell she wants to talk to _me_. Other than to confess her undying love, of course.

"Hey sweetie…" She smiles at me, then looks around to see if anyone is listening. "Can I ask you something? About Dot?" She sounds really worried. I try to keep my mind blank, even though I know what's coming next. She nods and motions for me to follow her over to a relatively secluded corner. Once there she turns to me with an uncharacteristically serious eye.

"Has Dot been acting strange lately?" She asks. Either I'm a brilliant mind reader, or something in me knew that was coming for some reason. I swallow. She isn't. It's just my imagination…

"Not really more than what's usual for her. Why?" I don't want to hear what she's going to say. I think I already know.

"Look," She looks around again. "I noticed she's gotten down pretty thin. When I was fitting her skirt – she was only in her underwear – you could see just about every bone in her body. Even her hip bones stuck out. I'm worried about her, has she been eating enough?" I look over at Dot. She's laying on her back, listening to music. Sure enough, now that I actually take a look at her, her bones are sticking out. Not too much more than usual, but enough. _She's fine._ I tell myself. And she is. No way would Dot do that to herself. She's fine.

"She eats enough." Suzie gives me an intense look.

"Have you _seen_ her eat enough?" She asks, slowly.

"Yeah, I have. She's just…going through some weird growth spurt is all." I barely hear myself speak. When was the last time I saw Dot eat? She had half of that cheese-less omelet for breakfast this morning. There was that sandwich she had…and what before that? I remember her eating toast before that western shoot…is that really it? Nah…remember that apple she cut herself while slicing? Suzie's words echo in my head. '_have you seen her eat enough?_' I never saw the apple. Come to think of it, how did she cut the _palm _of her hand while cutting up an apple? I start to feel kind of sick inside. You don't think…

"She's fine." I conclude, and go back to the lounge. Who I was telling, I'm not sure.

When we're done shooting the commercial, decide to pay a certain security guard a visit.

"_Sh…_" Whispers Yakko. Dot and I are trying not to giggle. Fishing pole in hand, Wakko casts. He breaks into a grin. "Hey, I think I got something!" He reels it in. There's a loud ripping sound, and the hook at the end of the line comes back into view, along with Ralph's pants.

"HEY!" Ralph himself charges into view, sporting Little Mermaid underwear. That's our cue to haul ass out of there, laughing our heads off. We skid as we round a corner, Ralph still hot on our heels. Next time you see a security guard, get him to give you a chase. It's excellent exercise.

"Hey Dot, I think Ralph's been stealing your underpants!" Wakko howls with laughter. I listen for Dots response, but I don't get one. Still running, I look over at her. She doesn't look so good. She actually looks out of breath. We've been getting Ralph to chase us for _years_ and we're _never_ out of breath!

"Dot, are you ok?" I ask. She doesn't say anything, but after moment, to my immense surprise, she shakes her head. Wakko and I put on the breaks and duck into an ally way. Sure enough, Ralph runs on past us. I look back over at Dot. She's breathing hard, and her knees are shaking so hard they look like they'll give out at any moment.

"Jeeze Dot, are you ok?" Wakko reaches over and grabs her by the shoulders to support her. He sounds about as scared I feel. Slowly, she sinks to the ground, and after a tense few minutes, catches her breath. I shake my head. This isn't happening. There's a logical explanation behind this. Dot's fine.

"Don't feel very well?" I offer.

"No…"

"And that's why you didn't finish breakfast this morning, right? Because you weren't feeling well?" She nods. Part of me knows perfectly well I'm feeding her the right answers, and all of me wants to believe her. When she can stand again we begin to walk back Upon arrival at the tower Dot climbs the stairs to her room and collapses on her bed. She's asleep before her head hit the pillow. I know this because I heard it from Wakko, who followed her upstairs.

"Yakko…" He says uncertainly, as he comes back down stairs. "I don't think Dots ok. Something's up. Have you noticed how thin she's gotten? She's acting weird too, I'm really worried about her!" And I believe him. I'm not sure I've ever seen him look so worried. He's chewing the inside of his cheek and his eyes are wide and darting around.

"She's fine." I say. How many times have I said that today?

"What do you mean she's fine?! She nearly passed out from doing something we do almost every day!" He sounds angry now. I get up from where I'd been sitting on the couch and walk over to him. I put a hand on his shoulder and give him the sternest look I can muster.

"I said she's _fine_!" I say. Wakko shoves my hand off his shoulder and looks and me, teeth bared, face red with anger.

"Yeah, well I think she's _sick_. And if you're not going to do anything about it, I will!" He marches off into the kitchen and begins to cook something, shoving around the pots and pans with more gusto than usual. I suppose its become pretty calming for him.

I begin to climb the stairs to Dots room to check on her. I go to open the door, but pause, with my hand hovering over the handle. I can create a mental image of what I'll find. Dot crashed on her bed, looking sick and weak. Her bones poking out, her eyes sunken in. The bandage on her hand.

_She's fine._ I tell myself one last time, turning away and going back down stairs.

_I don't want to see. _

**Enter: Wakko**

I start making dinner, shoving the pots and pans around with more gusto than usual. My hands are shaking with rage, but my stomach is churning with worry. Try as I might, I can't get the image of my sister nearly collapsing in that ally way. And then Yakko has the guts to tell me she's ok?! What's gotten into him, is he sick too?! I shove a spoon into the pot of noodles hard enough to crack the wood of the handle. I see Yakko come downstairs and throw himself down on the couch and I have to resist the strong urge to throw the pot of boiling water on him.

While the noodles cook I get to work on the cheese sauce. There's seven types of cheese in it, and it takes a while to make. As I settle into the rhythmic movements of putting everything together I start to calm down a bit, and make a mental note to mention this to Scratchnsniff next time we're in his office. I don't know what she could have, but I know she's got something. A sudden jolt runs through my body. Was it something she ate? Did _I _make her sick? I look down at the kitchen counter. No doubt one of the messiest in the world. _No_ I remind myself. Then Yakko would be sick with the same thing.

Half an hour later dinner is ready. I volunteer to go wake up Dot, but just as I went to go upstairs, Dot came down herself. She still looked sick, but at least she was smiling.

"Hey Yakko, hey Wakko." She greets us. She plops down at the kitchen table. I take a look over at Yakko to make sure he's still absorbed in what he's watching on the TV and take the seat next to Dot.

"Feeling any better?" I ask. She nods. I gather up my courage and…

"Dot, you've got both of us kind of worried. Maybe you should go see a doctor, you could be really sick." She looks at me in surprise.

"I feel fine Wakko, really. You worry too much, you know that? Usually that's Yakkos job, and he's not worried, is he?"

"Yeah, he is." I lie.

"Liar."

"Look, Dot, don't think we haven't noticed you're acting strange lately!" She jumps up from the table, suddenly furious.

"What is everyone's sudden fascination with the way I act?! Cant you just leave it alone?" She gives me the death-glare. I cant help it. I feel awful. Something's wrong with her, I just know it!

"Are you two going to stop arguing long enough to eat? Because I don't mind eating all of this myself." We both look up and find that Yakko had slipped into the kitchen and was serving himself a heaping bowl of macaroni and cheese. I sigh, and give up, figuring I'm more or less beat. I don't want this to turn into a bit fight. _Note to self. Talk to Scratchnsniff. Tomorrow. _

**Enter: Dot**

I grind the macaroni to a paste into my mouth. Actually, I'm grinding my teeth in anger. The macaroni is just in the way. What is it with everyone and thinking I'm sick?! I look great! Still a tad big, but a hell of a lot better than I used to, and no one has said a thing about me being cuter! Just sick.

Well, its not as if I don't _feel sick_. For the past few days I've been feeling weak and light headed. And when Ralph was chasing us…

I force the memory out of my head. I don't care. Being cuter is worth it, and there is no way I'm going to stop starving myself. I'm still alive aren't I? I lean over the table to grab the pepper. As I do, I notice that I practically have to crush my ribcage against the table; my ribs are poking out so much more than they used to. I can see each and every one individually, even the ones in my back. I look down at my legs. The bones of my knees stick out much more than they used to as well. My eyes travel up to my hips and the bones in those stick out too. Even my arms look knobby.

Anger bubbles up inside me again. WHY CANT THEY SEE HOW CUTE I AM?!

After a few minutes of silent steaming I make a horrible discovery. All this time I'd been rhythmically spooning the cheese covered pasta into my mouth. By the time I calmed down my _entire_ bowl has been emptied! I look at it in shock.

"I'm going to jump in the shower now." I say quietly, and put my empty bowl in the sink. I climb the stairs slowly, so as not to make myself too dizzy. In the sanctuary of the bathroom I turn on the shower and turn to the toilet. Nervously I lift the lid and peer into the water below. It's the part before I throw up that I hate. Its like the feeling you have right before you get a shot, and then its never as bad as you thought it would be. _Here it goes…_ My fingers go down my throat, up comes my dinner. I squeeze my eyes shut as the hot sour bile spills out of my throat and when I'm done I continue squeezing my eyes shut and do it again. And again. Ten more times, until I feel like I've gotten it all out, then I open my eyes. And my heart skips a beat.

Blood. I threw up _blood._ Right there, mixed in with the soupy mess in the toilet is a good few table spoons of _blood._ _Blood!_

My first instinct is to run screaming to Yakko. In fact, ever fiber of me wants to her him tell me that throwing up blood is no big deal, and that I'm ok. In fact, I'm so terrified right now, that part of me wants him to freak out and take me to a hospital. I cant stop looking at it.

"Y-Yakko…?" I whisper. But I cant bring myself to say it any louder than that. I flush the toilet and climb into the shower.


	8. LEAVE ME ALONE!

**Enter: Wakko**

I shift a bit in the plastic chair outside Scratchnsniff's office. They should really get more comfortable chairs considering how long we have to sit out here. Yakko, Dot, and I have regular visits with the doctor himself, as well as 'emergency appointments'. These usually happen when Yakko makes some…ahem…more adult comments to someone, or when Dot spits verbal poison and makes the censors cry, or when my mallet use becomes 'excessive'. We've also got individual appointments, and this is one of them.

I sigh and slump down in my chair. _So why is he taking so long to call me in?!_ He does this every. Single. Time. It's the same thing, every. Single. Time. Usually. There _is_ something different today. Today I actually _want_ to talk to him, and I'm nervous. In fact, I feel a little sick.

(Insert your own accent here, I'm too lazy to write it in)

"Wakko? Scratchnsniff will see you know." Hello Nurse calls me in. I slide out of the chair and walk into the room, dragging my feet a bit as I go, and sit down on the couch. Scratchnsniff is writing something down at his desk. When I sigh and wring my hands a bit, he looks up in surprise.

"Is there something bothering you?" He peers at me through his glasses. I suppose the look on my face told him that I really don't want to talk about this. He writes something else down.

"How have you been lately?"

"Eh, I feel fine."

more writing things down

"Then what is with the slumping on the couch and the wringing of the hands? Hmmm?"

"Uh…" It feels like there's a golf ball lodged in my throat. I cant do it yet. I change the subject.

"Hey Scratchy, how was your vacation?" I ask as brightly as possible. He had been sent on a month long vacation back to Austria. Unfortunately my sibling and I couldn't follow him. We made up for it in letters and 'care packages'. Never have we gone through so many explosives and fake spiders in one month. Scratchy raises his eyebrows.

"It was much needed. Though the packages and letters you sent me were a bit…unnecessary." I grin.

"Now, was there something you wanted to tell me? Something you wanted to get off your chest?" I gulp. _Now or never…_

"Uh…have you seen Dot since you got back?" I ask as casually as I can. Scratchnsniff seems a bit confused by this.

"Eh, no, I can't say I have. Why?"

"Um. You sure?"

"Yes, yes, Wakko I am quite sure I have not seen your sister since my return, now are you getting to the point?"

"She's been acting…weird…lately."

more writing things down

"How so?"

I take a deep breath. He sees how hard this is for me and offers me a glass of water. I take it and chug it one gulp, relishing in its coolness. It helps clear my head a bit before I press on. Images of what Dot would do to me if she found out I spilled. I wince involuntarily.

"You've got to promise you wont let anyone know I told you, ok?" Scratchnsniff puts whatever he's writing aside and devotes his full attention to me. It makes me feel even more uncomfortable, and I cant look him in the eyes.

"Well, first of all, she gets mad pretty easily. I asked her to try something I cooked and she starts screaming at me."

"Yes, yes go on…"

"And…well lately…she hasn't been really eating anything. She always just says she isn't hungry or she's not feeling well and you can see all her bones poking out. She looks really sick. And she's got this cut on her hand, she says she got if from cutting up an apple. But…I don't know how she sliced the palm of her hand by chopping up an apple. I mean, when cut myself when I'm cooking its always my fingers, never the palm of my hand like that. And the other day, we were running from Ralph and…I don't know what happened. She just couldn't take it and we had to stop. She couldn't even stand. She says she's fine and so does Yakko, though. I think he just doesn't want to see it. He's in denial, I think. But, I mean, this is _Yakko_ we're talking about, right? He's the rational logical one. I just…I don't know…maybe I'm just overreacting…I'm worried about her."

I'm surprised with myself. I don't think I've ever said that much in one sitting. I had just launched into a very Yakko-like ramble. Scratchnsniff seems surprised too. And kind of shocked.

"So, let me get this straight, Wakko." He picks up his paper and pen again "You sister, she has not been eating and is very underweight?" I nod "And she lashes out?" I nod again. He writes a lot of things down. "You did the right thing by coming to me, Wakko. If I'm right, this could be very serious." That's kind of the opposite of what I wanted to hear…

"Wakko, how much do you know about eating disorders?"

"What are those?"

"I see…" He sighs and gives me another glass of water, which I accept with gratitude. Right now, all I want to do is turn tail and flee; I feel like a dirty snitch, no mater what Scratchy says. But if Yakko's not going to do this then its up to me. Yakko always seems to be the one that looks out for us, and speaks up for us. Maybe that's why I suppose sometimes people forget that I'm an older brother too.

"I suppose its worth mentioning that it has the highest death rate of any mental disorder." I spit out the water with enough force to knock Scratchnsniff clean out of his chair.

"**W-WHAT?!**" I sputter. _Mental disorder!? DEATH RATE?!_?

"Don't be too alarmed, hopefully we've caught it early. I would like you to tell her to come and see me when you get home though." Groans Scratchy as he picks himself up off the floor a wrings the water out of his shirt.

"M-mental disorder…?" I'm still reeling. I thought she just caught something. Now there' something actually wrong with her _brain?!_ She could _die_ from it?!

"Like I said before, don't be too alarmed. Just tell her to come see me tomorrow yeah?"

I nod a few times. I leave the office and walk home in a daze.

**Enter: Dot**

I wake up happy. It's the weekend! I stretch and roll over so I can see out my window. Rain spatters against it, and outside the sky is dark gray, almost greenish. I sigh, and continue to watch the raindrops hurl themselves at the glass, then explode into a million pieces of liquid diamond. On days like this my brothers and I usually stay inside and hang out together, which is fine by me, because that all I want to do today. I haven't gotten to just hang out at home in a while.

I get out of bed slowly. I have to, otherwise I get a little light headed. Lately, people have been looking at me funny. Just yesterday I was walking with Yakko to the library, and some chick stared at me for so long (mouth open, I might add) that she walked right into a street light! I was trying not to burst out laughing, while Yakko looked pretty pissed. He actually gave her a death glare and yanked me along down the street. See, when shows are filmed, it takes a good month of editing, censoring, more censoring, voice overs, and a bunch of other things before they can be aired. So none of my fans (or anyone else for that matter) has seen how small and thin I've gotten. I suppose it must be pretty shocking for them.

After throwing on some clothes I go downstairs. Wakko and Yakko are both watching TV on the couch, and I skip over to join them.

"Hey, Dot," Says Wakko as he scoots over to make room for me "Scratchnsniff wants to see you today. You've got an appointment." He stuffs some popcorn into his face. "One offff dose individual fings." He sprays the TV with popcorn. Yakko smacks him upside the head and I giggle. I cant _wait _to see what Scratchy says about the 'packages' we sent him!

"When's the appointment?" I ask brightly

"An hour." He answers, eyes glued to the TV. He looks a bit uncomfortable to me. Is it just my imagination? Or maybe its just that super spicy chili he ate last night. The way Wakko makes it, you aren't able to sit for a week!

"You going to eat anything before you go?" Yakko turns to me. I didn't eat anything yesterday, so I probably should today- to boost my metabolism.

"Sure, I'll grab a sandwich before I go."

"I'll make it!" Wakko jumps up from the couch. Yakko and I look at each other and shrug. A minute later Wakko returns with my sandwich. I frown; it's a little thicker than I'd like, but oh well. I'll just go for a jog tomorrow, and it really does look good. I take a bite and nearly spit it out. Mayonnaise! Its got mayonnaise in it! As soon as I swallow I start to feel a little sick.

"Uh…on second thought…" I start to put the sandwich down but the look on Wakkos face stops me.

"What? After all that hard work I put into it?! I slaved over a butter knife and a bag of bread for _this_?!" He looks at me with (fake) tears in his eyes. I roll my eyes and shove half the sandwich into my mouth.

"Better?" I ask, around the sandwich, making sure to spray him with some of it.

"Yes." He says simply and goes back to watching TV. _Freak…_

After finishing the sandwich (hey, mayo or not it was good!) I climb down the ladder and skip over to good ole Scratcnsniff's office, pink umbrella in hand.

"Helloooo-ooo!" I call brightly as I enter the door. The smell of plastic plants and musty paper fills my nose, carried over on a gust of cool air. Hello Nurse nods in the direction of the super-hard-litteral-pain-in-the-ass-why-cant-he-get-a-more-comfortable-waiting chair. Blech! I groan loud enough for HN to roll her eyes and give me a dirty look before I sit down. It stupid chair hurts more than it used to now that my bones are poking out more. I'm a little sleepy after skipping all the way over here, and before long my head starts to tip forward onto my chest. Mmm…sleep…

"Dot Warner?" _Oh sure, NOW he calls me in!_ Grumbling I get out of the chair and walk in. The first thing I notice is how burned Scratchy is. Who knew Austria could be so sunny? The second thing I notice is that he's staring at me with surprise. How I know its surprise, I'm not sure. His little glasses obscure his eyes pretty well.

"Dot…" He says quietly. Almost to himself.

"Ok, now about the waiting chair," I start, but he interrupts me.

"Please, have a seat. We have a lot to talk about. This is going to be a pretty long appointment." _Oh joy…_ And onto the couch I go. Scratchy digs around in his desk for a while before, to my surprise, pulling out some paper and a box of crayons. He tosses them to me. "I want you to draw a picture of yourself, Dot. I don't care how good it is, but I want you to do your best." _Huh?_ This is pretty different from the normal appointment drill. I look down at the art supplies in my hands.

"Well, if you say so…" I open up the box and pick out black, red, pink, yellow, and orange crayons. I sketch out a rough outline of myself, and then start on filling it in. Thinking about accuracy, I go ahead and add those 'extra pounds' that I'm still working on around my hips and stomach. When I finish, it still doesn't look quite like me. I frown. I add a few more pounds. A bit better. The Dot on the paper gets thicker and thicker, finally resembling that guy made out of tiers on the car commercial.

"There." I hand it to him, now feeling even guiltier about the sandwich I had earlier. He takes it, nods, and puts it in his desk.

"Dot, you look so different from that picture. I think you know this. Can you tell me how you are different?"

"Uh…no…I did my best like you said." What's he getting at?

"Dot, so much pressure was always put on your appearance…I'm really shouldn't be surprised that this has happened. I'm worried about you, and I'm not the only one. Now I want you to listen to me. It is quite obvious that you have developed an eating disorder, and we have not caught it as early as I would have liked. This is a dangerous thing you are doing to yourself, Dot, and you need help."

"Uh, eating disorder?"Maybe if I play dumb?

"Do not play dumb with me." _Damnit!_

"Look, Scratchy," I say as I start making for the door "I appreciate all the concern, but I'm fine! And don't go making a big deal about this, because there is nothing to make a big deal about! Gotta run!" Literally. I dash out the door.

I don't make it very far though, I've got to stop and catch my breath at the ladder to our tower. I thought that sandwich would give me more energy… After a few moments of resting I scale the tower and stumble thought the door.

"Hey Dot! How'd the appointment go?" Wakko bounds over to greet me, very exited for some reason. The look in his eyes is…I gasp.

_It was him!_

"You told Scratchnsniff…" I say softly. For a moment, I think he's going to make a run for it, but then his expression goes from fearful to defiant.

"Yeah, I did!" I feel like exploding!

"You dirty little snitch!" I scream

"You sick anorexic! You need help!"

"I DO NOT! I'M NOT ANOREXIC, NOW WOULD YOU LEAVE ME ALONE?!"

"NO!"

"WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME, ITS _MY_ BODY, WHAT DO YOU CARE WHAT I DO!? I LOOK BETTER NOW THAN I EVER DID!"

"I CARE BECAUSE YOU GOING TO KILL YOUSELF!!!"

"NO I'M NOT! YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING, DON'T YOU GET IT?! YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN THE DUMB ONE!"

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! YOU'RE GOING TO DIE DOT! IF I'M SO DUMB HOW COME _I_ KNOW THAT AND _YOU _DON'T?! DO YOU HEAR ME?! YOU'RE GOING TO _**DIE**_!!!"

Wakko is foaming at the mouth and I'm red in the face. If that asshole says one more thing his face is going in the garbage disposal! Yakko is still on the couch. He seems to have receded into himself, covering his hears and squeezing his eyes shut. Wakko starts yelling again, but I don't even hear him. I run upstairs not even caring how dizzy it makes me and barricade myself in my room. The anger I'm feeling isn't just an emotion. It's a physical feeling, like a heavy lead fire inside my chest. Luckily I know how to deal with it. I grab a letter opener from the vanity. It slides across my arm as if the skin were made for it. It splits open and for just a moment, is pristine. Then up comes the blood, as if it forgot that it needed to come out. I sigh with relief.

"Dot?" Wakko's voice sounds from outside my door. He isn't yelling anymore.

"GO AWAY!!!" Just because _he's _stopped yelling doesn't mean _I _have to. I guess he does, because that's the last I hear of him. For a while anyway. Two hours later and I'm still locked in my room. I've kept busy by reading magazines and playing solitaire. Pathetic, I know, but its better than facing my brothers downstairs. Its not all that bad really. Here in my room there isn't any food, and since I'm not going downstairs until tomorrow, that means no more fat collecting on my collar bones. Besides, it's a rainy day right? This is what you're supposed to do on those. I'm right in the middle of an article about a girl who painted forty five pictures of flowers and made over a million dollars from them when Wakko gives it another try.

"Dot?" I say nothing. I hear him try the door, only to realize I've got my dresser and bed jammed up against it. "Dot, I'm sorry about what I said earlier." His voice is soft "I didn't mean to scare you." _Scare me? Pft!_ "Dot, please come out?" _Fat chance. _"Please?" After a moment I hear him leave.

They don't leave me alone. At six o'clock I can smell something cooking downstairs and Yakko tries his luck.

"You cant stay there forever, you know." I'm still not speaking to them. "Dot, can I come in?" _Nope._ "Please Dot? I just want to talk, ok?" _You can talk just fine where you are._ But apparently he no longer feels the need to talk because I hear him give up and walk away. At eight I hear one of them try the door handle, but upon realizing they were still locked out leave without a word. A few hours later I get ready for bed. We have a show to shoot tomorrow. I cringe. I know I'm going to get a tongue lashing from Suzie. She's started giving me one every time I walk into the makeup studio. And I thought she was cool…


	9. Uh oh

**Enter: Dot**

_What was that…? Was that even real…?Did I hear that…? Or was it just my imagination…? There it is again!_ I'm dragged out of my sleep by a soft sound. For a moment I lay where I am, wondering if it's just the tower settling down, or if I had dreamt the sound, but then I hear it again. I open my eyes and wait for them to adjust to the pitch black of my room. Heart beginning to race a bit, I roll over and look around. I had taken down the barricade when I had hear my brothers go to bed, and I'm starting to regret that. Then my eyes fall on the culprit. Suspicions confirmed. There, on the floor, leaning against my bed, is a dark figure. And it's crying.

Yakko is curled up, sobbing into his knees, and obviously unaware that I'm awake. _I should be enjoying this…_I think to myself. After all, I'm mad at them, right? I locked them out of my room for an entire day! I refused to speak to them! But I don't enjoy this one bit. His face is pulled into a grimace, eyes squeezed shut, teeth clenched…soaked with tears…I don't think I've ever seen him this upset…I can't watch this anymore!

"Yakko?" I whisper. I expected him to start, to jump, or at the very least gasp, but he doesn't. He just turns his head towards me wearing an expression of torturing guilt and remorse.

"I'm sorry Dot." He croaks, and lets his head flop back down on his knees. A new wave of sobs overwhelms him for a moment before he could go on. "I should have done something! I-I should have stopped it before it got this far…" I feel sick. Just the look on his face is enough to make me squirm. I've never seen him like this. "I just didn't want to see…" He continues. His throat is tight and his voice is strained. "I thought if…if I could convince myself…if I could convince myself that you were ok…that you would be. Everything could be explained away…" His misery seems to deepen. "…dying. Dot, you're _dying_…" He cant go on. Quiet moans of utter anguish replace words. Somehow Yakko finds the strength to rise and sit on the edge of my bed. It takes me a moment to realize I'm crying too. My very soul feels like its being ground between two bricks. I crawl over and lean my head up against his shoulder, but I'm not even sure he notices.

"I should have done something…Dot, what happened to your arm?" He whispers to himself in a shaky voice. He turns to me, as if just now realizing I was there. I say nothing. It's the easiest way to tell him everything. He reaches over and pulls me into his lap. "I'm sorry…" His chest heaves as he breaks down again. I have no choice. I sit there and listen to all the pain I've caused. All because of me…

**A!**

I must have fallen asleep. When I wake up the sun is shining and the world seems to be in denial of the night before, having the audacity to be cheerful and pleasant. It makes me sick. After rolling out of bed I glare out the window for a good few minutes before getting dressed. I don't want to go downstairs. I _really _don't want to face my brothers, and I _really_ don't want to film today. What Wakko and Yakko said still weighs heavy on my mind, and on top of that Suzie has started giving me lectures every time I see her. She's even threatening to call a hospital! I nervously chew my lip. It's my body. Why can't they just leave me alone? I don't think what I'm doing is _too_ dangerous. I mean, the first time I threw up blood and got dizzy it scared me. But now every time I puke I bring up blood, and getting dizzy is a daily thing for me. I'm still alive aren't I?

_They're just going to have to get used to the new me. _I decide as I head downstairs. It may hurt a little at first, but they'll get used to it. Eventually.

"Bout time…" Grumbles Wakko as I come into view. He's got scrambled eggs on the table, which is fine by me. Yakko is reading a news paper and mechanically shoving scrambled eggs into his mouth. Neither of them seem to want to bring up yesterday either. Maybe they think that now that they have confronted me I will stop loosing weight. Fat chance.

"Do you know what kind of shoot we're going today?" I ask brightly, grabbing a plate.

"I think we're doing one with Slappy, should be fun." Answers Yakko, still not looking up from his newspaper.

As it turns out, we were not going one with Slappy. We were doing one with Pip. Kill me now oh merciful gods of animation!

After getting all made up ( Suzie had to leave town to be there when her new nephew was born, so I had a 'substitute'.) we gathered on set.

"Places!" Shouts the director. We all take out places, each of us wanting this to be over as soon as possible, but knowing that this was _Pip_ we were talking about, and 'soon' was probably the only word in the English language _not_ in his vocabulary. "ACTION!"

"Hello Yakko, Wakko, Dot fancy seeing you here I haven't been her in years you know when I last came here it was a lot different there was a stain on the carpet right over there I remember it very well I was there when it was made it was the summer of 1996…" _Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!_

"And…CUT!" Yells the director. We don't even wait for him to tell us we can leave. My brothers and I bolt out of there so fast it makes their head spin.

"Freedom!" Screams Wakko and he does a few back hand springs. But our wooping and hollering comes to an abrupt end.

"Warners? We need to talk." Three men in suits start toward us. They don't look happy.


	10. End of part one

_**A.N**_

(I meant to put this a.n in the previous chapter) Sorry for the slow updates! Been busy as of late, and the last chapter- I wrote, erased, and re-wrote that scene with Dot and Yakko **4** times before I was happy with it!

**Enter: Dot**

_Uh-oh…_This cant be good. The men look serious, and they're getting closer. Despite the sunny day they're all wearing jackets. I feel a bit relieved when one of them smiles though.

"Plotz wants to see you three right now." Says the one who smiled. My brothers and I look at each other. Since when has Plotz ever wanted to see us? Usually he does everything in his power to avoid us, and not without reason, I smirk to myself. I look over at Yakko who shrugs and starts off to the diminutive CEO's office, tailed by the men in suits. By the time we step out of the elevator Wakko has one of them singing the chopsticks song.

"You two wait out here." Says the same man who spoke earlier to Wakko and Yakko. "You, in there." He gestures for me to enter Plotz's office. I don't like where this is going. But what else can I do? Into the office I go.

Plotz is at the head of his quadruple long table, peering at me over folded fingers.

"Dot…we have some things to discuss…" He growls. I back flip into a chair at the opposite end of the table.

"So what's on your mind?" I decide to play it cool.

"Frankly," He straightens his tie "People are beginning to talk…We're worried that if we let these past few episodes air we will get too much negative press because of you recent weight loss. I need to warn you, if you don't gain some weight back your show is going to be put on hold as long as it takes." _Well THAT'S not good…_

"I don't know what you mean!" Forget playing it cool, I'm playing it dumb.

"If you need help Scratchnsniff is there. That is all." Oooh, he's soooo worried and concerned…I hop up from the chair and skip out the door. Wakko and Yakko are waiting for me in the hall.

"Well, I think we can guess what that was about." Wakko crosses his arms and gives me a 'I-totally-knew-this-was-coming' look. I shrug.

"He wont really put our show on hold." I assure him.

"And you know this…how?" Yakko raises an eyebrow. Argh! There they go ganging up on me again!

"Come on, lets go, please!" I beg. I just want to go home. Shooting with Pip always wears us out, and right now all I want to do is sit on the couch and watch TV. To just have it be like old times where no one was obsessing over what I do and look like. Those where the days…

"I don't know…" Muses Yakko. "Maybe you should see Scratchy first…" I don't want to do this!

"First thing tomorrow, ok?" I drop to my knees and put on my most pathetic face. Wakko and Yakko look at each other.

"Well…we did spend the entire day with Pip…" Says Yakko. Its working! Time to milk it. I attach myself to his leg.

"Oh _pleeeeeeeeeease!_" I squeal. He's going to give in, I can tell! Wakko bursts into laughter.

"Fight it Yakko, fight it!" He snorts.

"I…can't! I…can't…fight…the cute! Fine lets go watch TV" Sucker! I hug him and jump to my feet, immediately falling back down to my furry little ass. _Note to self, no more sudden movements unless you want to remain light headed for the rest of your life!_ I look up to see my brothers staring at me. Cheeks burning red, I get up (more slowly) and start out of Plotz's building, leaving them to follow me. All the while I'm silently praying they wont make anything of it. But, of course, this is _my_ life we're talking about. And nothing ever goes the way I want it.

"Dot, maybe we should go and see Scratchnsniff now…" Yakko looks at me as if I hadn't done that a million times before. I shake my head and soldier on. Or, I would have if Wakko hadn't grabbed my arm.

"Yeah. I really think you should." He actually starts to pull me in the direction of the exit closest to Scratchy's office. Since when are they in charge of everything I do?!

"Wakko, let go! I said I would go tomorrow!" I try to yank my arm out of his grasp, but find I don't have the strength to. Wakko doesn't let go. In fact, his grip tightens and he begins to drag me over to the door! Oh, he is _so_ dead!

"Let go!" I scream and start to kick and thrash around, but Wakko isn't having any of it. Since when was he so strong!? My kicks and one-armed punches connect solidly with his back and sides, but he seems immune to them. That's when Yakko steps in. Or, rather, helps Wakko by holding my shoulders and keeping me from worming out of his grip. I can't believe they're ganging up on me like this! I scream and his and kick and threat and curse, but it does not good. I'm _not_ going to see Scratchnsniff! Not now, not ever! And I don't care what they say! I DON'T CARE!

In a final desperate effort I comp down on Wakkos hand. Hard. He howls in pain and lets go before he realizes what he's done. I duck out of Yakkos hands and I'm off. I sprint down the rest of the hallway as fast as my legs will carry me. I don't even know where I'm going, I just know that I'm getting away from them. From those stupid brothers who need to stay out of my business! It's MY body, not theirs! I think to myself as I slow slightly to round a corner. I can hear them behind me, and I quicken my pace. Fear grips me. I can't let them catch me, they'll make me go to Scratchnsniff! But…I'm starting not to feel so good…

My head feels like its full of air. I keep going, fast. Faster. Fastest. I wont let them catch me, and I've already got a good lead. My legs feel like they're made of jelly. I feel sick to my stomach. My heart is racing faster than it ever has before, but I try to ignore it. Then, without warning, my legs give out completely. I cling to the wall for support, managing to catch myself before I fall. But something's wrong. Something's wrong…

I may have stopped running, but instead of slowing down, my heart is still going a mile a minute. In fact, I think…it is…I think it's still speeding up. I can feel it hammering in my chest, faster, faster, faster…my head feels like its full of helium…and I'm starting to feel scared. It's still speeding up…my vision is starting to go dark…it's still speeding up…I don't think its ever gone this fast…faster…faster…

From far away I hear my brothers screaming, and then the still further sound of my head hitting the floor.

When I wake up there's a tube in my nose.


	11. New Beginings

_**A.N**_

About the hospital smell. EVERY hospital has the same smell. No joke. I've worked (as an orderly or delivery girl) in quite a few, they ALL smell the same.

**Enter: Dot**

I take a deep breath. The smell of antibacterial soap, plastic, and cardboard fills my nose. A life monitor beeps softly beside my bed and I can hear voices outside my room. People asking about lunch, how is so and so…I should feel all alone, because that's what I am. But I don't. I turn my head and open my eyes. I'm in a little hospital bed, in a nondescript hospital room. A pink scrub clad trots in.

"Hey! Your awake!" She smiles at me brightly, her lips looking like pink ribbons against her olive skin.

"H-how long have I been asleep…?" I ask weakly. I feel so strange…

"Only a couple of hours." She assures me. "You had us pretty worried though. Your brothers are here in the waiting room if you want me to call them in." I nod. Right now, any comfort, anything familiar…that's all I want. She smiles again and tells me that she will. I close my eyes. I still feel so strange…like I'm light as a feather, but my limbs are heavy as lead. My head feels light too. Not as light as it had before…whatever it was… happened…but still light.

"Dot?" I open my eyes to see Yakko poke his head into the room. He comes in, followed by Wakko.

"Hi…" I hear myself say. I feel so horrible…

"Hey Dot, you feeling ok?" Yakko takes a seat on the edge of my bed, and places a cool hand on my forehead.

"Not really…" I might as well tell the truth.

"The doctor's going to tells us what happened soon." Coming from Wakko who sits on the other side of the bed. Yakko runs his hand through my hair. I turn my head to look at him, but…something feels weird. I put a hand to my face and there, going into my nose, is a tube. It loops over my ear and goes…I don't know where. Wakko must have seen the confused look on my face.

"They put you on a feeding tube, Dot. It goes all the way down into your stomach."

"Feeding tu…why?" I turn towards him. I don't like it, it feels weird! Every time I move my head I can feel it in my nose and in my throat.

"Uh, 'cause you need food?" Wakko uses his 'duh' voice, but he's smiling down at me, and holds my hand.

"Hey there!" A doctor appears in the room, looking like the KFC guy in a white lab coat. "How are we doing today?" He asks me. I give him my most poisonous glare.

"Ok, so not very well…" He writes something down on a chart. "Now Dot, I know you don't feel very well, but I need you to do your best to answer these questions, ok? Do you remember what happened when you were running from your brothers?" I close my eyes again. I don't want to answer questions right now…I want to go back to sleep. But no one is saying anything, and I know they're waiting for me to answer.

"I don't know. Kind of weak I guess…I couldn't see anything…oh, oh!" It starts to come back to me "I remember my heart kept going faster and faster, even though I wasn't moving." The doctor nods.

"Dot," He starts "Your body needs fat to function. When you've burned off all your fat for energy, your body starts to eat the muscle underneath. But its not just the muscles in your arms and legs that gets eaten. Your body also starts to eat the muscles in your heart. Over time, your heart gets weaker and weaker and weaker. Dot, when you over exerted yourself, your heart just couldn't take it. You had to be taken away in an ambulance. Until we were able to get your heart rate under control, we weren't sure we could save you."

Tears well up in my eyes. I nearly died? There's something wrong with my heart? Its too much. Too much to take in right now.

"We've put you on a feeding tube, as you might have noticed. No trying to pull it out now, I've seen several anorexics try to do that. You'll end up hurting yourself. Your digestive tract is also in trouble. You really should have told someone when you began vomiting blood, we were considering surgery to repair some of the damage you've done. However we're going to see how this goes for a while."

"Vomiting _blood_?" Yakko speaks for the first time since the doctor entered the room, and looks down at me in horror. I look away, ashamed.

"I wanted to tell you…I couldn't though…" I know it sounds pathetic, but its all I can say. Yakko just shakes his head in disbelief and continues stroking my hair. His hand is trembling now though.

"You're going to get better, weather you like it or not." The doctor concludes. "Now, I want you to rest. I've got to talk to your brothers now." He starts out the door, motioning for Wakko and Yakko to follow him. They reluctantly leave my side. And I'm alone. Despite what the doctor said about rest, I push myself into a sitting position, and then out of bed. The tube in my nose wont let me move far, but it lets me move far enough. I turn and face the mirror on the back of the door, and take a look.

There, for a moment, I see myself as everyone else sees me. I see bones. A skeleton. I look like I should be dead…

But then it comes back. The extra pounds I've got here and there. A little too much flab.

This is going to be harder than I thought…

**Enter: Yakko**

The doctors leads us out of Dots room and into an office.

"Have a seat." He nods in the direction of two chairs while he goes behind his desk. I'm still so shaken. Good god, my sister was throwing up _blood_ and she didn't even tell me! Some brother I've been…

"As you can see, your sister is in a bad way." He begins. No duh… "There are a few ways we can go about recovery. There is in-hospital care. We keep her here and force feed her if necessary. She'll be moved to a new wing, monitored constantly, have daily appointments with Dr. Scratchnsniff... Its shown to be very effective, and you'll be able to visit her most days. She'll even have a real room, with a regular bed."

I think it over for a moment.

"_Most_ days?" I ask. I don't like the sound of that.

"Well, of course if she is having a bad day, a relapse day as we call them, you will not be allowed to visit her. In-hospital care is all about tight control." That's all I needed to hear.

"No. Sorry doc, but she needs us. I don't like the idea of her in some sort of hospital-prison without having us there. I mean, I really don't think it will help her." The doctor nods a few times.

"There is also home recovery. But I must tell you, Yakko, Wakko, you must really think before you choose this. It requires a lot of time and energy and responsibility on your part-"

"I don't care. We're going with that one." I don't even let him finish and Wakko nods enthusiastically. I'm going to step up to the plate to take care of Dot, and I don't care what it entails. I'm her older brother, and on top of that, I'm the oldest brother. And the past few months I've been a failure as one. That has got to change. The doctor nods again.

"Yes, I thought you would say something like that…we'll then we've got a lot of discussing to do. Dot is going to have to stay in the hospital until late tomorrow, or early the next morning. In that time I've got to prepare you to take charge of her recovery. Ok?"

"Prepare away!" I challenge. Wakko and I both lean back in our chairs simultaneously and get ready to listen.

"I'll type something up for you later, but I'll give it to you in a nutshell. You'll have to monitor her weight, which means buying a scale. You'll have to plan out her meals, cook her meals, and make sure she isn't purging them, or hiding food in her pockets. She might hate you for it, and I know that would be very hard for you. It's why I urge you to consider in-hospital care. There is so much you have to do…"

"We're her brothers." Wakko speaks up. Though short, his declarations seems to pretty much explain everything I'm feeling right now. It automatically makes us responsible for getting her through recovery, no matter what.

"You'll have to be strong. No matter what she says or does." Adds the doctor, but he sees we aren't going to budge.

"Now, I want you two to go home. You've got your first assignment. Go into her room and throw out all the magazines, or anything else full of thin models. Get rid of all the food too. Don't worry," He laughs, seeing the look on our faces "Like I said, she'll have to be put on special meals, and you'll be getting new groceries. I will e-mail you more details later tonight."

"Got it!" I say, flashing the thumbs up. Wakko is already heading for the door.

"And don't forget, you cant give in. No matter what she says or does." Reminds the doctor. He doesn't need to remind me. I don't care how much she hates me at this point. I'm determined to make up for my denial that nearly cost Dot her life. No matter what.


	12. Dinner Time

**Enter: Dot**

I sit up in my bed and twiddle my thumbs. You wont believe how boring hospitals are. Not to mention uncomfortable. The feeding tube is attached to a little machine filled with something not unlike baby food. It pumps the stuff into me constantly. The clear plastic tube goes over my ear, in through my nose, all the way down my throat and ends in my stomach. Sounds nice, huh? I can feel it in there every time I swallow. There is also an IV going into my wrist that pumps some sort of heart medication in.

There is a little TV set up in the corner, but I'm not allowed to watch it. Too many 'triggering' images, according to the doctor. Dr. Hark, as I found out his name was. He sent Yakko and Wakko back in a few hours ago, after he was done talking to them. Yakko had talked for a long time about my recovery, and how we were going to give home recovery a try. I was only half paying attention. I know I nearly died…but part of me just doesn't want to recover. I can still see excess fat around my stomach and on my arms, and as long as its there, I'll just never be cute. If I could just get rid of those last few pounds, everything would be perfect.

I'm scared though. Yakko means business; he made that really clear. And the other part of me, the one that does want to recover, is glad for it. Because that part of me is terrified of what happened. My two sides, I call them. It remains to be seen which one will become my only side…

**Enter: Wakko**

_Boneless chicken breast_

_Eggs_

_Whole fat milk_

_Kraft American singles cheese_

_Whole wheat bread_

_Tortillas_

_Honey_

_Jam of any flavor_

_Flour_

_Sugar_

_Rice_

_Pecans_

_Peanut butter_

_Peanuts_

_Bagels_

_Butter_

_Pasta raw of any shape_

_Tomatoes_

_Onions_

_Olives_

_Salt_

_Pepper_

_Mayonnaise_

_Mustard_

_Olive oil_

_Fruit juice_

The list goes on and on. I look up at Yakko who's picking out a scale.

"This is going to be tough…we've even got to weigh all of her portions…" I say, half to myself, half to him. He nods and continues reading the back of one of the boxes. We're at a local supermarket buying all new groceries and scales and stuff. Last night, after we met with Dr. Hark and went home to throw out all Dots magazines he sent us the email just like he said he would. We have to meet with him every other day and give full reports of everything, and Dot has to be examined by him once a week, on top of daily sessions with Scratchnsniff.

"Well, we're just going to have to _be_ tough." Declares Yakko, selecting a scale and putting it in the cart. I think back to when caught up with her in Plotz's building. How she was holding on to the wall with one hand and clutching her chest with the other…gasping like a fish and then how she had just collapsed and I thought for sure she had died…

"Yeah." I agree and go back to the list. Tonight Dot comes home and we do dinner the 'recovery' way. Yakko looks at his watch.

"4:28. We'd better hurry it up. You've got to get started on dinner and I've got to pick up Dot at the studio hospital."

We wrap it up and get all the groceries and scales (one for food, one for Dot) into the tower. There's a lot of stuff! I get my workout for the week just carrying it in!

"Jeeze…it wouldn't kill you to get some excersize…" Snorts Yakko on his way out to go pick up Dot and bring her home. He's also got to pick up this stuff called 'Boost'. It's a special powdered drink that she's got to drink to help her gain weight and fight her malnutrition.

"Oh shut up…" I mumble as I get up off the couch and drag myself into the kitchen to get dinner started…

**Enter: Dot**

It feels so good to be back in the tower! The moment I set foot in it, I felt better. No more IV or Feeding Tube (though Dr. Hark said that if I refused to eat Yakko was going to take me back to the hospital and have it put in again) no more weird smells and no more boredom! I dive onto the couch and burry my face in the cushions. _Ahhhh…_

"Don't get too comfy, dinner's almost ready." I hear Wakko say from the kitchen. I feel a little pang of anxiety run through me. I know my brothers were given a (long) set of instructions on how to go about everything. Dr. Hark told me a few. How they've got to watch while I eat, I cant leave the room until I finish everything, no going out of the room for an hour after I eat so I don't purge, Yakko has to check my pockets for food… It's like they're treating my like a silly little baby, and I don't like it. Unfortunately there really isn't all that much I can do. I know I could flat out refuse to eat, but then that awful tube would go right back into my nose and I would be forced to 'eat' anyway. I decide to just go along with everything. For now.

"Alright Dot, at the table." Commands Yakko. I look over the back of the couch to see Wakko setting food-laden plates on the table. Chicken and Rice. The chicken looks ok, but the rice… "Come on Dot." Yakko is already using his 'I'm warning you' voice. I do a front flip off the back of the couch and plop down in my chair. The food smells pretty good actually.

"Hey, guess what I saw a preview for!" Wakko pipes as he takes a seat in his chair.

"A marathon of Don Knox re-runs?" I guess

"'The Day Yakko Took Over The World?'" Guesses Yakko. Wakko rolls his eyes.

"Pirates of the Caribbean 3!" _That_ gets our attention. The Pirates of the Caribbean movies are some of the only ones we _all_ cant get enough of. Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom in loose pirate shirts…now if only they could get Mel Gibson in there…how perfect would that be…

"Ok, enough fantasizing about Mel Gibson in a pirate costume and finish your dinner." Yakko sounds serious but he's rolling his eyes. Meh. Boys just don't understand the attractiveness of pirate costumes. I look down at my plate. I've managed to nearly finish the chicken, but I still haven't touched my rice. Even though I can hear Wakko and Yakko arguing about the movie ("That swamp witches boobs were _not_ fake!" "Yes they were!") I can feel their eyes on me. Problem is, I'm already full.

Somehow I get the rest of the chicken in, but the rice is a bit more difficult. It was one of my 'avoid at all costs' foods. I chew the first forkful for nearly two full minutes before swallowing. Its not that it isn't good; it is. Its got garlic and mushrooms…and I just can bring myself to like it. I take another bit, chewing mechanically. I feel so full I think I might puke. The amount of food on this plate would have normally lasted me an entire day or two, and my stomach just isn't used to this kind of abuse.

There are still a good five forkfuls on my plate. I don't think I can do it. I'm just about to tell them when I remember The Tube. I remember how it felt in my throat every time I moved my head, and how I looked a million times more sick with it in, looped over an ear and taped to the side of my face. I looked like I was about to die. And how I could feel it inside my nose…

I gather up my strength and the last few bits of rice disappear into my mouth. When I'm done I lean back in my chair and pray that it all doesn't come back up again. I worked too hard to get it down there…

"Alright Dot, you can go watch TV now. Just don't leave the room." Yakko says, once he sees I'm done. I slowly get up from the table and go over to the TV. I feel like a big fat cow…I'm just about to consider sneaking into the bathroom when I realize Wakko is sitting on the couch. The little snot has to watch over me! Grinding my teeth I sit next to him and commence watch TV while Yakko cleans up dinner. By the time the first cartoon is over I feel a bit better. Or, at least, I do until…

"Dot, come over here." Yakko is standing in the middle of the living room, and Wakko nudges me off the couch. I walk over and stand before him. "Turn out your pockets." He commands. I make a big deal of rolling my eyes and turning them out. _Duh I'm not going to hide food in my pockets...at least not when I know you're going to check them…_ "Alright, good" Yakko rubs the back of his neck. He seems pretty relieved that there isn't any food in there, like he didn't want to dole out the punishment or whatever it was if there had been.

An hour later I'm allowed to leave the room. But I don't. All that talk of Pirates of the Caribbean made us want to see the first two. So we spend the next four hours watching them, back to back on the couch. Even though there are so many new rules…so many new things and consequences…Just sitting there with them, like old times…I haven't felt this happy in a long while.


	13. She wont hate me

**Enter: Yakko**

_Beep! Beep! Beep! Bee-__**CRASH**_

And another alarm clock bites the dust. I force my legs out of bed and push myself into a sitting position. Five thirty. Its five thirty in the morning! Every fiber of my being screams 'go back to bed'. My nice warm bed. Oh what I wouldn't give to lay back down and sleep for another four hours. Instead I get up, exit my room, and start down the hall.

"Better get used to it Yakko…" I, quite literally, tell myself. And I know I will, weather I like it or not. I've got to get up at five thirty in the morning for Dots weigh-in and pre-breakfast for as long as she's in recovery – every single day.

I push open the door to Dots room. She's curled up in bed, covers drawn up to her chin, fast asleep. She's the cute one all right…

"Dot…come on, wake up." I whisper, shaking her shoulder. Her eyes flutter open, she mumbles a few words I'm not sure I want to know the meaning of, and burrows deeper into her quilt. I want to flop down and fall asleep myself.

"Dot…" I whine "It's too early for this, just get out of bed ok? I don't like this any more than you do." A few moments go by before she finally scoots out of her bed and follows me to the bathroom. I've got to weigh her every morning and record every number. Dr. Hark wants her to gain two pounds a week until she's reached her 'target' weight, thirty pounds heavier than she is now. As with every other aspect of this, there are rules for weigh-ins. Dot isn't allowed any food or water before the weigh-in, I've got to watch her step on the scale, and I've got to make sure she isn't holding anything (rocks, for example) to make the number higher.

"Its freezing!" moans Dot as her bare feet come into contact with the cold tiles of the bathroom floor.

"Well get through with this and you can grab a blanket." I squeeze into the bathroom behind her. "Scale time." I command. Dot steps onto the scale with unusual complacency. Perhaps the early hour has taken her edge off. Either way, I'm glad for it, and peer over her shoulder so I can see the number. Its all I can do to keep my mouth from dropping. I didn't know she was _that_ light…But I record it all the same and, true to my word, let Dot dash into her room and grab a blanket to wrap herself in.

"Better?" I ask as she comes into view.

"M-hm…" She murmurs. Her eyelids are still drooping. I put my arm around her and lead her downstairs and into the kitchen. Now I've got to make that 'boost' stuff Dr. Hark sent us. Dot sits on the counter while I get out the big container of powder. She's watching me like an owl now, and I can tell she is looking for the label that shows all the calories. I turn the container so that she cant see.

"This stuff actually smells pretty good." I tell her. And it does. Boost comes in different flavors. This one is strawberry banana. She doesn't say a word, and I don't know if its just my imagination, but I can feel the tension in the room rise a bit. I finish stirring the powder into the milk, now the consistency of melted icecream, and hold it out to her. She doesn't make a move to take it. Great. I _really_ don't want to do this…

"Dot, either you get it from this cup or you get it from a tube. Either way you're drinking it."

"I don't think I can…I'm still full from dinner last night…" She shrinks away from the cup as if it were poison. I really don't want to be mean to her, but this is my responsibility. I force myself to think of that number on the scale, grab her hand and shove the cup into it with as much force as I can without spilling it.

"I don't have a problem asking Dr. Hark to put the feeding tube in…" I growl in my most menacing voice. I mean business. Dot looks up at me with an odd expression. Part surprise, part hate, part…fear? She looks at the cup in her hand and slowly raises it to her lips, taking the tiniest possible sip. She coughs and shakes her head violently. She's on the verge of tears.

"I-I cant, I'm sorry, I just cant!" She goes to dump the stuff in the sink, but I catch her arm before she does and take the cup from her. Boost in one hand, Dots arm in the other, I make my way to the tower door ignoring the kicking and screaming coming from my sister.

"We're going to Dr. Hark." I say flatly. And I really mean it.

"No!" Dot squeaks, digging her heels into the ground. She even lands a good kick in my side that I have to work pretty hard to pretend doesn't faze me. I'm actually opening the door when she dissolves.

"Yakko, please! Don't!" She coughs "Fine, I'll drink it, give it here!" I stop, hand on the door handle, and face her. She's sobbing, but holds out her hand.

"Table." I order, and she walks over to slump down in her chair. I place the cup in front of her. Half an hour later, she finishes it all. Between every sip was a new wave of tears, but I'm patient and I sat with her through it all. She's still crying when she's finished; with new gusto even. She curls up in the chair and puts her fuzzy pink blanket to her face. All the feelings of guilt I managed to hold back while dragging her to Dr. Harks come back. How could I be so mean to her?! Good god, I know I had to be unyielding, but I didn't have to make her cry… "Dot, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry…" I put a hand on her shoulder. She squirms out of my reach. The caring smile disappears from my face. _Fine. She can be that way._ I tell myself. _As long as she's getting better. _

Her tears subside and her head droops down onto the table. It takes me a moment or two to realize she's fallen back asleep. Lucky. Meanwhile I go to my room, get the note book Dr. Hark gave me and start to write. I've got to record Dots actions to meals and stuff, and I don't intend to spare any details.

_Thud Thud Thud_ Wakko comes down the stairs. He might as well have been wearing lead shoes.

"Dot had better recover soon…I don't think I can take waking up at 6:30 every morning…" He slurs. I roll my eyes.

"Yeah, your one to talk. _We _wake up at 5:30." Wakko glowers and drags himself into the kitchen; he has to start on Dots breakfast. Waffles and eggs. Once again I had to threaten to have the feeding tube in to get her to eat. Eventually, with equal parts bullying and coaxing, we got it all down her. Wakko did most of the hand-holding 'you can do it' stuff. Most of the bullying was from me. A small part is beginning to worry that she will begin to resent me for all this. After all, I am being really harsh on her, when usually I'm a bit of a pushover. More than a few times during Wakkos breakfast I just wanted to say 'fine, you've eaten enough.' And stop her (an my) suffering. But a larger part of me knows that if I did that I'd be failing her as a brother. These thoughts stay with me al the way up until 9:00 when I've got to take Dot in for her first checkup and appointment with Scratchy. I wait downstairs with Wakko while Dot gets dressed.

"This is harder than I thought…" muses Wakko, out of the blue.

"Being a brother is hard." I say. Right now, nothing could be more true.


End file.
